Syndrome of the Old Maiden

Probably everyone is familiar with the notion of "old maiden" - so long ago called a girl who for a long time did not marry. After all, following an unspoken stereotype, before the age of 25 any woman should have had a family. However, some girls in advance predetermine their fate - the syndrome of the old maiden can develop in 20, and even in 18 years, and this leads to certain reasons and a combination of circumstances. And in this case, the old maiden is no longer just a concept, but a real diagnosis.

Epidemiology

Unfortunately, there are no statistical data on the number of old maidens in our country, and especially those who suffer from the syndrome of the old maid. We can say that if an old girl was considered any girl who had not found a husband before the age of 25, now this approach to the issue is considered morally obsolete. Women are increasingly married about 30 years and even later, preferring to first build a career and find more or less stable material prosperity.

The old maiden in our time is usually called a girl without three components:

• husband;
• children;
• sex.

That is, the old maiden is now called a virgin, who continues to live alone, even despite her age.

If we talk about the syndrome of the old maid, then the root of the problem lies much deeper - after all, a woman may not seek to marry, as she may be satisfied with this state of affairs. In this matter, our national statistics are doing well: according to the information received, old maidens often turn to psychologists for help more often, they are more often sick with neuroses and depressions, and even die, unfortunately, earlier than their married friends.

[1], [2], [3], [4], [5]

Causes of the syndrome of the old maiden

To the development of the syndrome of the old maiden can lead such reasons:

• Overestimated requirements for male representatives (the so-called "search for a prince on a white horse").
• Fear of responsibility for another person.
• Unsuccessful "first love".
• Overestimated self-esteem: the opinion of the girl that in any case it deserves better.
• Underestimated self-esteem: the girl believes that it is not worthy to be loved, or too bad for her to love.
• Closed, lack of social adaptation, a propensity for a lonely pastime.
• Propensity to discuss and condemn girlfriends and acquaintances who often change young people.
• Unacceptability of others' smells, things; fastidiousness.
• Inadequate treatment of male compliments and courtship.
• Lack of initiative in dating and communication.
• Disgust or overestimated sense of shame in relation to sexual contacts.

[6], [7]

Risk factors

Often, "old maidens" - this is the result of incorrect education, misinterpreted family model. It is not uncommon, when "caring" mothers raise and raise their daughter "for themselves", rejecting all the boyfriends and admirers - so much so that the girl beforehand starts to hate all men at once.

Sometimes the absence of a husband and a sexual partner is explained by a negative attitude towards men, which was formed as a child. For example, if the family did not have a father, or the mother set up a child against him, then in the future the girl subconsciously can avoid relationships with men.

The third common factor that can lead to the development of the syndrome of the old maiden is the pursuit of career growth. It would seem that there is nothing wrong with this - to be a successful woman, in demand in her professional field. However, the pursuit of self-affirmation and financial well-being can lead to the fact that in the presence of a number of men, a need will simply disappear.

[8], [9], [10], [11],

Symptoms of the syndrome of the old maiden

Experts insist that it is most optimal to part with virginity at the age of 19 to 21 years. Otherwise, the most pleasant consequences may not develop:

• inhibition of sensuality and emotionality;
• psychological problems in the form of loneliness and own "uselessness."

If at an earlier age the girl does not lose her virginity, then later she in most cases starts to hide this fact. She becomes ashamed and embarrassed when someone finds out about the problem. Therefore, such a girl prefers to be lonely, than to become an object of jokes and receive unkind comments in her address.

In this regard, we can identify a number of "late" consequences of the syndrome of the old maid:

• isolation from society;
• loneliness;
• chronic depressive conditions;
• loss of interest in life;
• gynecological problems;
• a state of permanent and prolonged stress.

Often, counseling the psychologist helps to overcome the problem and prevent unpleasant consequences. It is even better to take a course of treatment for the syndrome of an old maid from a psychologist or psychotherapist.

Prevention

In order not to be afraid of the occurrence of the syndrome of the old maid, you do not have to immediately rush in search of new acquaintances. For starters it is advisable to listen to the following tips:

• Try to look at yourself from the outside: to your appearance, your clothes, posture, facial expression. Would you like a man? Perhaps you need to change something?
• Pay attention to your mood: get rid of irritability, anger, hatred, anger. Remember: no one owes you anything, and you do not owe anything. Smile, and you will certainly get a smile back.
• The important secret of this woman: if you have problems, or you are dissatisfied with something, never show it, under any circumstances.
• Do not forget about coquetry and do not neglect it. Just do not mix this coquetry with obsession.
• Do not perceive any man approaching you as a potential husband. Be easier and just talk.
• Do not be afraid of relationships with men: all are making mistakes. Your task is to make the appropriate conclusions in time and move on.
• If you think that you do not need a man - this is no reason to avoid contact with the male sex. Sexual attraction has not been canceled yet.
• Remember - you are not an old maid, but a free woman. Learn this concept, and it will become much easier to live.

[12], [13]

Forecast

If you do not shut yourself up and avoid contact with the representatives of the male sex, the prognosis of the syndrome of the old maiden may be favorable. Many, waiting for the arrival of the prince, really meet him. However, for this it is not enough to sit at home and reread the tale of scarlet sails. Communicate, participate in public life, be interested in the affairs of others, engage in collective sports - in short, live a full life. And, most importantly, do not be afraid to admit to yourself in the existing problem - and there is always a way out of the situation.

Syndrome of the old maid is a psychological term, so you do not need to self-detach yourself. If you feel that you can not cope - without any hesitation, contact a psychologist.