Heartache

Mental pain is also called pain of the mental body. Sometimes it is more dangerous than physical illnesses, because it causes disruptions in the functioning of all internal organs and brings about malfunctions in the functioning of the entire organism. More about mental pain

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What is mental pain?

This is a mental state that is not related to disorders of the body's functions. Mental disorder leads to mental pain. Then they say "my soul hurts." Mental pain occurs when we are very worried about some event or a person close to us.

Mental pain can haunt a person when their ideas do not match what happens in reality. Most of our experiences that lead to depression (often long-term and persistent) arise from patterns that have formed in our brain, and reality is completely different from what we expected. This leads to disappointment and mental pain.

How is mental pain experienced?

A person can experience mental pain openly – and this is good, because emotions are expressed and fade away over time. Or a person experiences mental pain secretly, and sometimes, while suffering, does not want to admit it to himself. Then he gets rid of mental pain in several ways. Mental pain is transferred from the conscious feeling to the subconscious. A person thinks that he no longer suffers, but this is not so. In fact, he uses methods:

• avoidance of pain
• resistance to pain by transferring it to the subconscious

If a person is more inclined to demonstrate their feelings and actions, then they begin to look for a way out of mental pain, they can consult with acquaintances, friends or seek salvation in removing the root of the problem. For example, mental pain is caused by relationships with children - then a person looks for ways to find a common language with them.

The method of avoidance is that a person simply does not acknowledge the problem, says that everything is fine with him and does not even admit to himself that he is sick at heart because of something. Then the mental pain remains, but it goes into an implicit, subconscious form, and it is very difficult to get rid of this state, it torments a person much longer than open recognition and talking about the problem.

Hidden mental pain

Such pain can last for years, changing a person's character, actions and influencing his relationships with others - relatives, colleagues. A person with mental pain can begin to attract negative people into his life, change the level of acquaintances or refuse them altogether, ceasing to communicate with people.

Mental pain does not allow a person to create, to work well, with soul, it even changes a person's character. At the same time, he may not even understand what is happening to him.

Some situations may remind a person of the one that caused him emotional pain many years ago. But a person who has driven his emotions into the subconscious many years ago may cry and worry, not understanding what is happening to him, just after watching a scene from a movie.

In such cases, if you yourself cannot cope with mental pain, you need the help of a psychiatrist, psychologist or just a loved one who can listen to you and understand.

Mental Pain by Edwin Shneidman

Psychologist Shneidman gave the following definition of mental pain: "It is not at all like physical or bodily pain. Mental pain is the experience that a person feels as an individual. Mental pain is pain for one's own unique human self.

Mental pain arises as suffering, torment, melancholy, confusion. Mental pain is generated by grief, loneliness, guilt, shame, humiliation, fear of something inevitable - death, aging, physical illness."

According to Shneidman, mental pain is as real for a person as any other real event: “When a person experiences mental pain, its introspective reality does not cause him any doubts.”

Don't let the mental pain return

There is scientific evidence that we are in a state of depression for only a quarter of an hour, the rest of the time we create our own mental pain, prolong it and worsen it.

Therefore, it is important not to bring back the mental pain again. The return of mental pain is facilitated by similar situations that led to the state of mental pain. Having found yourself in a bad situation again, it is important to leave it or at least react differently to avoid a repeat of mental pain.

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How to get rid of mental pain?

To get rid of mental pain, one of the ways is to eliminate its cause. If the causes of mental pain are the behavior of a person, his attitude towards you, your conflicts with someone, then you need to remove these causes, and not work with your emotions in relation to them.

For example, if you have problems with your boss at work that cause you emotional pain, you should work on your relationship with him, not on how you feel about it. That is, removing the very cause of emotional pain: finding a common language with your boss or quitting - perhaps this is not your path.

If the mental pain is caused by a situation that can no longer be changed (for example, the death or illness of a loved one), it is worth working on your emotions and perception of reality. An experienced psychologist can help with this if you cannot cope on your own.

How to cope with the heartache of losing someone or something?

It is very difficult. Psychological rehabilitation after losing, for example, a loved one, takes from six months to a year. And only then can you start building a love relationship with another person, psychologists advise. Otherwise, you will go in the same circle and make the same mistakes.

To cope with the emotional pain of loss, you need to, first, admit to yourself that the situation has already happened. This will ease your condition, open the way for the pain. Secondly, you need to survive the period of pain, come to your senses. Do not rush into this.

And then you need to build a new future for yourself without this person or these circumstances. For example, without a loved one or a favorite job. Build everything in detail so that you can imagine “what and how will happen to you when this is gone.” Most often, the real world really does become what you build for yourself in your imagination.

Don't confuse emotional pain with other emotions

Mental pain can actually hide under other masks. Therefore, it can be confused, for example, with anger, resentment, disappointment. That is, in fact, you are experiencing other emotions, and the ways to get rid of them are different. A psychologist or psychotherapist will help you understand what you are experiencing and how to soften or transform these feelings.

How to get rid of mental pain in simple ways?

There are several ways that first dull the mental pain and then remove it completely.

1. Find a person or people who are worse off than you. And start caring about them. That is, you will switch your attention to another object and will not think so much about your experiences. These could be children from an orphanage, an old lady from the neighboring house, a kitten that you take from a shelter.
2. Master the deep breathing system with a long inhale and a short exhale. Proper breathing will help your body's cells recover, your nervous system will be strengthened, and over time, mental pain will go away.
3. Make it a rule to say something nice to at least one person every day. The positive emotions of others can be transmitted to you.
4. Get a good night's sleep, because during sleep many of the body's functions are restored, including the functioning of nerve cells.
5. Remove muscle tension. When we worry, our muscles shrink and muscle tension appears. They can be removed by dancing, exercising, jogging, push-ups and any other physical activity. You can simply walk – at least half an hour a day.
6. Sign up for massage courses. Massage can also remove muscle blocks and clamps and give you a good mood. Mental pain will become much less as soon as you let positivity into your soul.