Perfectionism

What is perfectionism? It is a psychological definition of stable personality traits that manifest themselves in an uncompromising desire for perfection and the highest standards in all areas of life (perfectus in Latin means perfect, exemplary, the best). However, such different concepts as the desire to succeed and the desire to be perfect should not be confused; besides, being demanding of oneself does not always mean pathology…

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Causes perfectionism

To date, there is no consensus regarding the cause of perfectionism. The etiology of this multifaceted psychological construct is seen either in an altered perception of one's own personality, or in the prevalence of irrational thinking (which does not allow one to adequately perceive reality), or in partial cognitive dysfunction.

The features characteristic of perfectionism include a tendency to focus on personal experiences, constantly compare oneself with others (and not in one's favor!), perceive the world in "black and white", without taking into account halftones and nuances. This set of psychological features is considered a sign of functional insufficiency of the personality and a certain immaturity of thinking.

The psychological structure of perfectionism identified by specialists includes ego-oriented, socially oriented and socially prescribed perfectionism. Their differences are based on the subjects of the focused desire for perfection. When focusing only on their own personality, the perfectionist constantly evaluates themselves strictly in order to avoid failures, and this, by the way, is the easiest option. Such perfectionism at work contributes to career advancement due to the fact that such employees are attentive to details and are workaholics.

When a person is characterized by perfectionism syndrome in a socially oriented variant, the expectation of perfection in other people prevails: friends, family members, employees. This perfectionism in relationships, for example, with increased criticality and exactingness of one of the spouses, creates such interpersonal problems, the solution to which in many cases is divorce. And perfectionism in intimate relationships - with inflated expectations of both partners - can cause long-term problems in the sexual sphere.

Finally, socially prescribed perfectionism is determined by the fact that, on the one hand, a person believes that the possibility of recognition of his personality in society is possible only on the condition of his impeccability, inadequately assessing the demands of others on him as excessive and perceiving this as external pressure. On the other hand, unreasonably high demands are also made on others. And this option, leading to depression and other problems, may require the help of a psychiatrist rather than a psychologist.

Pathogenesis

When a person is said to be a perfectionist, they also mean excessive criticality of their self-esteem and hypertrophied concern about how others perceive them. Psychopathologists around the world note that the relevance of perfectionism as a motivational and behavioral model aimed at realizing unreasonably high personal aspirations has been increasing in recent decades.

You may ask, what is the danger of perfectionism? In their desire, inadequate to reality, to always and in everything be better than others and to achieve the intended goal at all costs – especially when this goal is difficult to realize in practice – perfectionists face serious psychological problems that can transform into mental ones, causing unipolar depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, anorexia, suicide attempts.

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Symptoms perfectionism

The behavior of those who, with pathological persistence, strive to be a model of perfection, and consider their most insignificant mistakes and errors to be a sign of their own shortcomings, exhibits characteristic signs of perfectionism:

• an attempt to meet high standards in all areas of life (a radical type of thinking based on the “all or nothing” principle is possible);
• lack of confidence in oneself and one's abilities (low self-esteem);
• doubts about the correctness of one’s actions (indecision);
• fear of disapproval and rejection, including from parents;
• constant worry about possible mistakes;
• mistakes made are perceived as evidence of one's own shortcomings;
• an obsession with rules and an inherent belief that everything around you should be perfect;
• irritation and other negative emotions from “imperfect” people, actions, circumstances, etc.

Since perfectionists are focused exclusively on the results of their efforts, all three structural variants of this psychological construct are associated with such a feature as procrastination. Perfectionism and procrastination (irrational postponement of the start of any task) are considered in psychology in close connection, since both conditions are characterized by a fear of possible failure.

Another important sign of perfectionism is the inability to relax and share your thoughts and feelings: as a rule, perfectionists keep their personal and professional relationships under control.

Perfectionism syndrome: features of manifestation

Psychoanalytic experts claim that parents' perfectionism makes them intolerant of their own children's imperfections. Striving to be the best fathers and mothers, adults stop perceiving their son or daughter as a separate individual - with their own character traits, interests and desires. Harshly criticizing a child for any misbehavior or negligence, without delving into his or her feelings, parents may encounter resistance, especially typical of adolescence. And in preschool age, the mechanism of hyperactivity and attention deficit may be triggered in a child with behavioral disorders.

Another option: children try their best to please their parents under any circumstances and under their pressure they themselves become insecure perfectionists. They are characterized by ritualized behavior. Observations of psychologists confirm: children's perfectionism is born from the fear of not living up to parental expectations and the attitude to criticism from parents as evidence of their lack of love. Perfectionism is an unprecedented defense for "emotionally abandoned" children.

The same etiology is found in adolescent perfectionism, which develops in families where parents perceive their children's successes or failures as markers of their own success or failure. The fear of doing something wrong in a teenager can be destructive to the motivation to achieve their goals in adulthood. Victims of such fear, as a rule, try to avoid situations in which the results of their efforts will be assessed; for this reason, such teenagers become lagging students at school with the prospect of developing obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Neurotic perfectionism in motherhood manifests itself literally from the first days of the child's birth. The mother devotes all her energy to the care and upbringing of the baby and, under the burden of responsibility for his health and proper development, in the housework of ensuring sterile cleanliness and exemplary order, she forgets about her own needs (there is simply no free time left to satisfy them). From the impossibility of doing everything perfectly, women-perfectionists with small children often fall into depression and often turn into neurasthenics.

Perfectionism in men striving for high social status in the conditions of tough competition in the professional sphere can manifest itself both at work and outside of it. The signs (listed above) are especially clear in men raised by authoritarian parents, whose love was considered a reward for good behavior and studies. Most perfectionist men do not know how to enjoy life, are often dissatisfied with everything and constantly have complexes about their supposed shortcomings.

The perfectionism of teachers who never do anything well enough is a real and very difficult test for students, since it is difficult for such teachers to create a friendly, conducive atmosphere for the learning process in the classroom.

And the perfectionism of students who have only excellent grades in their record books, in the case of a socially prescribed version of perfectionism, can result in a switch from achieving personal goals to racing in competition against classmates.

The so-called food perfectionism is of particular interest to practicing psychotherapists. Women striving for the “ideal figure” may fall into the risk group for developing an eating disorder. And this is already a diagnosis – anorexia. Research has shown that the continuous desire for thinness among those suffering from anorexia is associated with socially prescribed inadequate perfectionism in these people.

There are also roots of such a problem as physical perfectionism, although some psychologists attribute it to perfectionism directed only at oneself, linking its development with such a character trait as vanity. Some clients (and clients) of plastic surgeons can be confidently attributed here.

Forms

The types of perfectionism that psychologists call types depend on how realistic the goals a person sets for themselves are, as well as on the individual’s tendency to see the reasons for failures in their own shortcomings, degrading their sense of self-worth.

There are two such types: adaptive and inadequate. In psychological literature, adaptive perfectionism can be defined as constructive perfectionism. Many psychologists believe that this is healthy perfectionism, which can motivate and stimulate a person to move towards a goal. And “normal” perfectionists often succeed in this, and without the slightest damage to their sense of self-worth. They enjoy their efforts and the process of applying them.

All other definitions - maladaptive perfectionism, neurotic perfectionism, excessive perfectionism - are synonyms of an inadequate obsessive desire for perfection and personal achievements with harsh self-criticism, that is, all this is, in essence, pathological perfectionism. And in this case, the inability to achieve the set goal, solve some problems, as well as the mistakes made, make a person see a lot of shortcomings in himself and constantly feel dissatisfied with himself. The result is a state of deep disappointment, driving into a long-term depression.

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Diagnostics perfectionism

Perfectionism is diagnosed through testing: the patient, at the request of the psychotherapist, fills out a perfectionism questionnaire.

There are quite a lot of systems for identifying and “measuring” this psychological construct:

• the Hewitt-Flett Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale (Pol Hewitt, University of British Columbia, Vancouver, Canada; Gordon Flett, York University, Toronto), which includes 45 multiple-choice questions;
• Slaney's perfectionism scale - Almost Perfect Scale-Revised (APS-R), Robert B. Slaney (USA), contains 32 questions;
• Frost Perfectionism Scale (MPS) - a 35-item questionnaire developed by Dr. Randy Frost of Smith College, Massachusetts;
• the perfectionism scale of the American psychiatrist D. Burns (Burns Perfectionism Scale);
• Likert perfectionism and stress test;
• several versions of the American Clinical Perfectionism Questionnaire (CPQ);
• Adaptive/Maladaptive Perfectionism Scale, a test of perfectionism in children by a group of Canadian psychiatrists;
• PAPS scale for detecting physical perfectionism.

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Treatment perfectionism

The first step in overcoming perfectionism is admitting that you have problems.

Despite their high level of self-criticism, perfectionists prefer to hide their personal problems. Instead of lying to yourself, experts recommend making a list of these problems. Most often, the negative effects of striving for perfection in maladaptive perfectionism far outweigh the apparent benefits of such a motivational-behavioral model.

Seek help from a good psychologist. It is impossible to get rid of perfectionism, but the following will help reduce it:

• setting more realistic goals;
• the realization that “imperfect” results do not lead to punishment, which must be feared in advance;
• recognition that everyone makes mistakes and that we learn from them;
• a step-by-step breakdown of the process for completing upcoming tasks;
• concentration of attention on one task in the allotted period of time;
• setting strict deadlines for every task you undertake;
• limiting the time for their execution.

In addition to consulting a specialist, it is useful to read books about perfectionism:

• Brown. B. The Gifts of Imperfection: How to Love Yourself for Who You Are. – Translation from English. – M., ANF. – 2014.
• Brown B. Great Daring. – Translation from English. – M.: Azbuka Business. – 2014.
• Korostyleva L. A. Psychology of self-realization of personality. – SPb. – 2005.
• Horney K. Neurosis and personal growth. – Translation from English. – St. Petersburg. – 1997.
• Sutton R. Don't Work with Assholes. And What to Do If They're Around You. – Translation from English. – M. – 2015.
• McClelland D. Human motivation. – Translation from English. – St. Petersburg. – 2007.
• Kurpatov A. 3 mistakes of our parents: Conflicts and complexes. - OLMA. – 2013.
• Winnicott D. Young children and their mothers. – Translation from English. – M. – 1998.
• Robert E. Secrets of Self-Confidence. – Translation from English. – M. – 1994.
• Ilyin E. P. Work and personality. Workaholism, perfectionism, laziness. – SPb. – 2016.

Perfectionism is an unsafe state in an imperfect world. But sometimes exceptionally talented people who achieve success in their field show signs of perfectionism. According to some data, 87% of gifted individuals were perfectionists, although almost 30% of them were neurotic...

According to American psychiatrist David M. Burns, we should strive for success, not perfection. “Never give up your right to make mistakes, because then you lose the opportunity to learn new things and move forward in life. Remember that fear always hides behind perfectionism. By confronting your fears and allowing yourself to be just human, you can, paradoxically, become much more successful and happier.”