Fear of loneliness in women and men

Autophobia is a medical term that describes such a mental disorder as the fear of being alone. Other possible names for this disorder are isolophobia, eremophobia, monophobia. We are talking about the fear of being alone, not having a healthy and permanent relationship, losing loved ones. Such episodic conditions are not alien to any healthy person. However, under certain circumstances, the problem can become obsessive and persistent, which allows it to develop into a real phobic disorder. [1]

Epidemiology

Specific phobia is one of the most common mental disorders in the general population, with lifetime prevalence estimates ranging from 7.7% to 12.5%. [2]

According to experts, people at any age can be afraid of loneliness if they have previously experienced psychological trauma or found themselves in a serious stressful situation. However, according to statistics, women most often suffer from such a phobia, which is associated with some mental and genetic characteristics.

Subconsciously in any woman there is a need to take care of someone, have a family, raise children. This feature is a kind of evolutionary factor, and sooner or later the fear of loneliness appears even among those who previously categorically denied the obligation of marriage and the birth of a child.

No less often, a phobia is formed in older people, whose social circle is limited over the years. The debut of fear of loneliness can be provoked by the constant employment of children and loved ones, less attention from relatives, poor health and, as a result, the periodic need for outside help. Old people are often afraid of losing the support of their relatives, not getting help if they suddenly need it, not being able to cope with the problem on their own. People aged and with health problems often become addicted, which is seriously reflected in their psycho-emotional state.

In general, the fear of loneliness is considered a fairly common disorder and is one of the ten most common phobias.

Causes of the autophobia

The root causes of fear of loneliness in most cases are, at first glance, obvious things, or unforeseen life situations. Violation is formed mainly in childhood. For example, many parents often tell their child: “If you don’t calm down, then you will stay here alone, and we will go.” Perhaps this phrase will really help stop a child's tantrum, but it can be firmly entrenched in the subconscious of the baby, forming the very fear of being left behind. In older children, a similar fear may develop due to the loss of loved ones.

In general, the most common causes of the formation of fear of loneliness are:

• lack of attention in early childhood (parents go to work, they practically do not pay attention to the child, do not respond to children's crying and do not respond to requests);
• lack of sufficient attention to the development of psychological qualities that determine the child's personality in the future;
• the regular practice of this type of punishment for the baby, such as locking him alone in a room, threatening to send him to a boarding school, or to a strange family, or even take him to the forest, etc.;
• teenage mistakes - in particular, the negative impact of dysfunctional friends and companies;
• lack of support from parents during adolescence;
• regular "reminders" from parents and close people that it's time to start a family, a child, that time flies, etc.;
• excessive gullibility to strangers, the rapid emergence of affection;
• sudden loss of a loved one, friend;
• low self-esteem, difficulty in establishing contacts with people;
• personal dramatic situations, unrequited feelings, rejection of a loved one, betrayal;
• excessive employment at work, in studies.

It is worth noting that the proposed list does not reflect all the possible causes of the formation of the fear of loneliness. Quite often, the source of the disorder cannot be identified at all. [3]

Risk factors

The main factor in the development of fear of loneliness is the psychological impact that arose even in early childhood. Pathological phobia is formed as a result of certain events that negatively affect the vulnerable child's psyche:

• Insufficient physical and emotional contact between mother and baby, strict upbringing, absence of parents during important periods for the child.
• Insufficient attention from loved ones, forced frequent stay alone.
• Frequent punishments by the type of locking in a closed room.

The fear of loneliness often develops in people who, in childhood, were lost or forgotten by their parents at mass events, in transport, in a store, which could lead to the formation of severe stress or fear in a child. Loss of loved ones, divorce of parents, etc. Also become a risk factor.

In addition to a lack of attention, hyper-care is also considered dangerous, when a child simply does not know how to be independent.

Pathogenesis

Experts note the involvement of such factors in the development of fear of loneliness:

• genetic factor. The role of heredity in the formation of phobias has not yet been fully proven, but scientists believe that the presence of a phobic disorder in one of the parents increases the chances of developing a disorder in a child. The degree of such risk is estimated at about 25%. But phobias in both the mother and the father increase the likelihood of a disorder in a child by 50%.
• social factor. Scientists argue that the fear of loneliness is more often formed in people who have a weak nervous system, low adaptation in society, a tendency to evade and avoid responsibility, or vice versa - an increased sense of responsibility, high demands on themselves. [4]
• biochemistry factor. There is evidence that impaired protein metabolism in neurotransmitters is involved in the development of phobias. In addition, the use of psychoactive drugs, including alcohol and drugs, contributes to the emergence of violations.

Symptoms of the autophobia

The fear of loneliness is hard to ignore. Most often, such a violation is observed in people who are unsure of their own strengths and capabilities, as well as in adolescents, residents of megacities (against the background of general employment, a person begins to feel unnecessary, superfluous).

The most obvious symptoms can be:

• Lack of self-confidence, inability to make decisions, constant search for external support, distrust of oneself.
• Excessive obsession with others, annoying sociability.
• Attempts to keep a certain person near you, by all means, at any cost, by resorting to extreme measures (including blackmail).
• Panic attacks, unreasonable attacks, directly related to the fear of loneliness (for example, with futile attempts to get through, with a long wait for a response to a message, etc.).
• The constant demand for some proof of love, the need to be sure that he would not be left alone.
• Lack of logic in relationships, promiscuity in the choice of friends and life partner (marrying the first person you meet, complete trust in unfamiliar people, etc.).

During an attack of fear of loneliness, the patient experiences the following vegetative symptoms:

• disorientation;
• tachycardia;
• increased sweating;
• dry mouth;
• feeling of lack of air;
• numbness of the limbs;
• trembling in the fingers.

Other mental signs:

• dizziness, loss of balance, fainting;
• feeling of unreality of surrounding objects;
• fear of losing control of the situation.

The condition is aggravated by the patient's own thoughts about a possible lethal outcome or insanity: immersion in one's own feelings intensifies, there is confidence in the imminent approach of something catastrophic. A person begins to look for all possible ways to eliminate the state of loneliness, to get away from the pursuing psychological problem. [5]

First signs

The main first sign of the formation of fear of loneliness is the state of obvious discomfort that a person experiences when left alone with himself. Discomfort can be manifested by restlessness, anxiety, headache, difficulty breathing. Most patients seek to eliminate the unpleasant sensation of any kind of employment. However, even violent activity is not always able to help, and the feeling of phobic loneliness continues to “press” on a person.

As a rule, already this one sign is enough to suspect that the patient has a fear of loneliness. For loved ones, the symptoms must become more vivid so that they can notice them. For example, suspicious signs should be:

• a person does everything not to be alone (for example, he always asks guests not to leave under any pretext);
• complains that no one pays attention to him, does not come to visit (although this is not so);
• clings to any relationship, has a penchant for blackmail, is not logical in choosing a life partner, cannot live without relationships (almost immediately after breaking up with one person, he finds another, etc.).

People suffering from the fear of loneliness are prone to panic states, have suicidal tendencies. They often have several phobic disorders at the same time.

Diagnostics of the autophobia

The diagnosis of fear of loneliness and other specific phobias and fears in children or adult patients is carried out by a practicing psychotherapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. He collects the patient's complaints, makes an anamnesis, issues a medical opinion regarding the general pathological picture.

For the correct diagnosis, doctors use an integrated approach: observation, questioning, testing, questioning, etc. Are mandatory.

During the survey, attention is drawn to the connection of a phobic attack with a specific situation, which in fact does not pose a real danger. It is also important to trace the restrictive and avoidant behavior associated with the fear of loneliness.

Physical examination begins with an external examination, assessment of the level of physical development, exclusion of somatic pathologies, detection of signs of self-damaging behavior. They check the pulse and blood pressure, evaluate the state of the thyroid gland. It is also recommended to perform a general blood test, blood biochemistry, a general urinalysis to exclude somatic diseases and determine the risk of developing adverse symptoms from taking psychodrugs.

To identify thyroid dysfunction, a study of total triiodothyronine, free triiodothyronine, total thyroxine, free thyroxine, and thyroid-stimulating hormone is carried out.

In difficult cases, electroencephalography is recommended to determine the bioelectric potentials of the brain and to exclude paroxysmal conditions. To exclude organic lesions of the brain, magnetic resonance imaging is prescribed.

The diagnosis of fear of loneliness cannot be made if the patient's condition can be explained by other disorders. Also, if a person has fear, this does not mean that he suffers from a phobia.

Treatment of the autophobia

Fear of loneliness and loss of loved ones in general can be cured. For this, various therapeutic methods are used:

• The technique of auto-training (self-hypnosis) can improve the patient's condition, give him confidence and courage. This method "works" only in conjunction with other methods of treatment.
• Psychotherapy sessions - group or individual - involve a long course of treatment, usually for several years.
• Drug therapy is prescribed as an aid to optimize the psycho-emotional state, stabilize reactions and improve well-being. The drugs of choice may be antidepressants, anxiolytics, β-blockers, nootropic and tranquilizing drugs.

Many patients benefit from the use of relaxation techniques. However, any treatment should be carried out only under the supervision of a qualified specialist. [6]

How to deal with the phobia of loneliness?

Any psychological disorder gradually tends to worsen and acquire a more complex course. Therefore, it is necessary to treat a phobia of loneliness, since adverse consequences may develop:

• the development of a depressive state, which, together with suicidal tendencies, can lead to an irreparable result;
• the appearance of neurodermatitis - a chronic dermatological inflammatory process, which not only negatively affects the appearance, but also causes physical suffering to the patient;
• a decrease in the quality of life.

With a mild degree of fear of loneliness, the patient is often able to cope on his own. For this it is recommended:

• communicate with people, gradually expanding the circle of friends and acquaintances;
• look for new hobbies, activities, exciting hobbies;
• travel, expand the area of interest.

If you follow these recommendations, it will help to remember the fear of loneliness much less often, or even get rid of the phobia.

Help is needed from loved ones. It is they who can suggest something to the patient in time, engage with him and support his hobby, take care of him and allow the patient himself to also take care. If the reasons for the fear of loneliness were the stresses that happened in childhood, then it is important to pay more attention to the patient, hug him more often, talk with him, participate in his problems and joys. It is much easier to overcome a phobia by joint efforts.

Prevention

With a preventive purpose, separate methods are used that allow you to “curb” your condition and achieve emotional balance at the right time. All techniques can be mastered in psychotherapy courses. The main advice given by experts on this issue:

• learn a softer reaction to stressful situations, not exacerbate problems and not “wind” yourself;
• systematically practice relaxation techniques (yoga, meditation);
• sharply limit the intake of psychoactive drugs, including stimulating drinks (coffee, energy drinks), which increase the feeling of anxiety;
• maintain physical activity;
• learn to face your own fears;
• take time for self-healing after any stresses and conflicts, relax, get enough sleep.

You need to understand that the fear of loneliness is not just a fear, but a pathological problem that can have an extremely negative impact on human life. This phobia destroys social ties, isolates a person. A timely appeal to a psychotherapist - with a preventive or therapeutic purpose - is the best step towards a happy and fulfilling life.

When is a visit to the doctor especially necessary?

• If a person notes the regular presence of fears for six months.
• If there is an awareness that the fear appeared for no real reason.
• If a person deliberately avoids situations associated with loneliness due to intense fear.
• If fear makes life uncomfortable, interferes with daily functioning.

In the early stages, the violation is corrected quickly enough, so timely consultation can decide the outcome of the entire disease.

Forecast

The prognosis for fear of loneliness depends on many factors - first of all, on the severity of the clinical picture and on the presence of concomitant psychopathologies. The probability of eradicating a phobia exists only if it was formed on a personal and emotional basis, and not on the basis of mental pathological disorders.

Of considerable importance is the mental and emotional background of not only the patient himself, but also his relatives and relatives, who in this situation should show maximum attention, care and understanding. In no case should you humiliate or reproach the patient for his fear. On the contrary, a person should be supported, demonstrate confidence in his abilities.

In general, the issue of prognosis is determined individually for each specific case. Most often, the fear of loneliness either disappears or is gradually compensated. Less often, the pathology progresses, which is characteristic mainly for different variations of obsessive-compulsive disorders.