Fear of loneliness in women and men

Autophobia is a medical term that describes a mental disorder such as the fear of loneliness. Other possible names for this disorder are isolophobia, eremophobia, monophobia. We are talking about the fear of being alone, not having healthy and stable relationships, losing loved ones. Such episodic conditions are not alien to any healthy person. However, under certain circumstances, the problem can become obsessive and constant, which allows it to develop into a real phobic disorder. [ 1 ]

Epidemiology

Specific phobia is one of the most common mental disorders in the general population, with lifetime prevalence estimates ranging from 7.7% to 12.5%.[ 2 ]

According to experts, people of any age can be subject to the fear of loneliness if they have previously experienced psychological trauma or found themselves in a serious stressful situation. However, according to statistics, women most often suffer from this phobia, which is associated with some mental and genetic characteristics.

Subconsciously, every woman has a need to take care of someone, have a family, raise children. This feature is a kind of evolutionary factor, and sooner or later the fear of loneliness appears even in those who previously categorically denied the necessity of marriage and having a child.

No less often, phobias are formed in elderly people, whose social circle is limited over the years. The onset of fear of loneliness can be provoked by the constant employment of children and loved ones, less attention from relatives, deterioration of health and, as a result, the periodic need for outside help. Old people are often afraid of losing the support of relatives, not getting help if it is suddenly needed, not being able to cope with the problem on their own. People of age and with health problems often become dependent, which seriously affects their psycho-emotional state.

In general, the fear of loneliness is considered a fairly common disorder and is among the top ten most common phobias.

Causes autophobia

The root causes of the fear of loneliness in most cases are, at first glance, obvious things or unforeseen life situations. The disorder is formed mainly in childhood. For example, many parents often tell their child: "If you do not calm down, you will stay here alone, and we will go." Perhaps this phrase really will help stop the child's hysteria, but it can firmly take hold in the baby's subconscious, forming the very fear of being abandoned. In older children, such fear can develop as a result of the loss of loved ones.

In general, the most common reasons for the development of fear of loneliness are considered to be the following:

• attention deficit in early childhood (parents go to work, pay virtually no attention to the child, do not respond to the child’s cries and do not react to requests);
• lack of sufficient attention to the development of psychological qualities that subsequently determine the child’s personality;
• regular practice of this type of punishment for a child, such as locking him alone in a room, threatening to send him to a boarding school, or to a strange family, or even taking him to the forest, etc.;
• teenage mistakes - in particular, the negative influence of dysfunctional friends and companies;
• lack of support from parents during adolescence;
• regular “reminders” from parents and loved ones that it’s time to start a family, have a child, that time flies, etc.;
• excessive trust in strangers, rapid emergence of attachment;
• sudden loss of a loved one, comrade;
• low self-esteem, difficulty establishing contacts with people;
• personal dramatic situations, unrequited feelings, rejection of a loved one, betrayal;
• excessive busyness at work, in studies.

It is worth noting that the proposed list does not reflect all possible reasons for the formation of the fear of loneliness. Quite often, the source of the disorder cannot be determined at all. [ 3 ]

Risk factors

The main factor in the development of the fear of loneliness is psychological influence that arose in early childhood. Pathological phobia is formed as a result of certain events that negatively affect the vulnerable child's psyche:

• Insufficient physical and emotional contact between mother and baby, strict upbringing, absence of parents during important periods for the child.
• Insufficient attention from loved ones, forced frequent stay alone.
• Frequent punishments such as being locked in a closed room.

Fear of loneliness often develops in people who were lost or forgotten by their parents during mass events, in transport, or in a store as children, which could lead to the formation of severe stress or fear in the child. The loss of loved ones, divorce of parents, etc. also become risk factors.

In addition to a lack of attention, overprotection is also considered dangerous, when a child simply does not know how to be independent.

Pathogenesis

Experts note the involvement of the following factors in the development of fear of loneliness:

• Genetic factor. The role of heredity in the formation of phobias has not yet been fully proven, but scientists believe that the presence of a phobic disorder in one of the parents increases the chances of the disorder developing in the child. The degree of such risk is estimated at approximately 25%. But phobias in both the mother and the father increase the likelihood of the disorder developing in the child by 50%.
• Social factor. Scientists claim that the fear of loneliness is more often formed in people with a weak nervous system, low adaptation in society, a tendency to evade and avoid responsibility, or, on the contrary, an increased sense of responsibility, high demands on themselves. [ 4 ]
• Biochemical factor. There is evidence that impaired protein metabolism in neurotransmitters is involved in the development of phobias. In addition, the use of psychoactive substances, including alcohol and drugs, contributes to the development of the disorder.

Symptoms autophobia

Fear of loneliness is hard to miss. Most often, such a disorder is observed in people who are unsure of their own strengths and capabilities, as well as in teenagers, residents of megacities (against the background of general employment, a person begins to feel unnecessary, superfluous).

The most obvious symptoms may include:

• Lack of self-confidence, inability to make decisions, constant search for outside support, distrust of oneself.
• Excessive intrusiveness towards others, intrusive sociability.
• Attempts to keep a certain person close to you, at any cost, by resorting to extreme measures (including blackmail).
• Panic attacks, unfounded attacks directly related to the fear of loneliness (for example, during futile attempts to call, during a long wait for a response to a message, etc.).
• Constant demand for some proof of love, the need to be sure that he will not be left alone.
• Lack of logic in relationships, indiscriminate choice of friends and life partner (marrying the first person you meet, complete trust in strangers, etc.).

During an attack of fear of loneliness, the patient experiences the following vegetative symptoms:

• disorientation;
• tachycardia;
• increased sweating;
• dry mouth;
• feeling of lack of air;
• numbness of the limbs;
• trembling in the fingers.

Other mental signs:

• dizziness, loss of balance, pre-fainting state;
• a feeling of unreality of surrounding objects;
• fear of losing control over the situation.

The condition is aggravated by the patient's own thoughts about a possible fatal outcome or madness: immersion in one's own feelings intensifies, and confidence in the imminent approach of something catastrophic appears. The person begins to look for all possible ways to eliminate the state of loneliness, to escape from the pursuing psychological problem. [ 5 ]

First signs

The main first sign of the development of the fear of loneliness is a state of obvious discomfort that a person experiences when left alone with himself. Discomfort can manifest itself as anxiety, restlessness, headache, difficulty breathing. Most patients try to eliminate the unpleasant feeling by some kind of busyness. However, even vigorous activity is not always able to help, and the feeling of phobic loneliness continues to "press" on the person.

As a rule, this one sign is enough to suspect the patient has a fear of loneliness. For loved ones, the symptoms should become more pronounced so that they can notice them. For example, suspicious signs should be the following:

• a person does everything to avoid being alone (for example, always asks guests not to leave under any pretext);
• complains that no one pays attention to him, no one comes to visit (although this is not true);
• clings to any relationship, has a tendency to blackmail, is not logical in choosing a life partner, cannot live without a relationship (almost immediately after breaking up with one person, finds another, etc.).

People suffering from the fear of loneliness are prone to panic states and have suicidal tendencies. They often have several phobic disorders at the same time.

Diagnostics autophobia

A practicing psychotherapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist is engaged in diagnostics of fear of loneliness and other specific phobias and fears in children or adult patients. He collects the patient's complaints, compiles anamnesis, and issues a medical opinion regarding the general pathological picture.

To make a correct diagnosis, doctors use a comprehensive approach: observation, interviews, testing, questionnaires, etc. are mandatory.

During the survey, attention is drawn to the connection of the phobic attack with a specific situation that does not actually pose a real danger. It is also important to track restrictive and avoidant behavior associated with the fear of loneliness.

The physical examination begins with an external examination, assessment of the level of physical development, exclusion of somatic pathologies, detection of signs of self-harming behavior. The pulse and blood pressure are checked, the state of the thyroid gland is assessed. It is also recommended to perform a general blood test, blood biochemistry, general urine analysis to exclude somatic diseases and determine the risk of developing side effects from taking psychotropic drugs.

To identify thyroid dysfunction, a study is carried out on the indicators of total triiodothyronine, free triiodothyronine, total thyroxine, free thyroxine, and thyroid-stimulating hormone.

In complex cases, electroencephalography is recommended to determine the bioelectric potentials of the brain and to exclude paroxysmal states. To exclude organic brain damage, magnetic resonance imaging is prescribed.

A diagnosis of fear of loneliness cannot be made if the patient's condition can be explained by other disorders. Also, if a person has a fear, this does not mean that he suffers from a phobia.

Treatment autophobia

Fear of loneliness and loss of loved ones in general can be cured. Various therapeutic methods are used for this:

• The technique of auto-training (self-hypnosis) allows to improve the patient's condition, to give him confidence and courage. This method "works" only in combination with other methods of treatment.
• Psychotherapy sessions, whether group or individual, involve a long course of treatment, usually over several years.
• Drug therapy is prescribed as an auxiliary means to optimize the psycho-emotional state, stabilize reactions and improve well-being. The drugs of choice may be antidepressants, anxiolytics, β-blockers, nootropic and tranquilizing drugs.

Many patients find relief from the use of relaxation techniques. However, any treatment should only be carried out under the supervision of a qualified professional. [ 6 ]

How to deal with the phobia of loneliness?

Any psychological disorder gradually tends to worsen and become more complex. Therefore, it is necessary to treat the phobia of loneliness, since adverse consequences may develop:

• development of a depressive state, which, combined with suicidal tendencies, can lead to irreparable results;
• the appearance of neurodermatitis - a chronic dermatological inflammatory process that not only negatively affects the appearance, but also causes physical suffering to the patient;
• decrease in quality of life.

A patient can often cope with a mild degree of fear of loneliness on his own. To do this, it is recommended:

• communicate with people, gradually expanding the circle of friends and acquaintances;
• look for new hobbies, activities, and exciting hobbies;
• travel, expand your area of interest.

If you follow such recommendations, it will help you to remember the fear of loneliness much less often, or even get rid of the phobia altogether.

Help is also needed from loved ones. They are the ones who can prompt the patient to do something in time, do and support his hobby together, take care of him and allow the patient to also show care. If the reasons for the fear of loneliness were stresses that happened in childhood, then it is important to pay more attention to the patient, hug him more often, talk to him, participate in his problems and joys. It is much easier to overcome the phobia with joint efforts.

Prevention

For preventive purposes, individual techniques are used to "tame" one's condition and achieve emotional balance at the right moment. All techniques can be mastered in psychotherapy courses. The main advice that specialists give on this issue:

• learn to react more gently to stressful situations, not to aggravate problems and not to “wind yourself up”;
• systematically practice relaxation techniques (yoga, meditation);
• sharply limit the intake of psychoactive drugs, including stimulants (coffee, energy drinks), which increase feelings of anxiety;
• maintain physical activity;
• learn to confront your own fears;
• take time to recover from any stress or conflict, rest, and get enough sleep.

It is important to understand that the fear of loneliness is not just a fear, but a pathological problem that can have an extremely negative impact on human life. This phobia destroys social connections and isolates a person. Timely contact with a psychotherapist - for preventive or therapeutic purposes - is the optimal step towards a happy and fulfilling life.

When is a visit to the doctor especially necessary?

• If a person notes the regular presence of fears over the course of six months.
• If there is an awareness that the fear has appeared without a real reason.
• If a person deliberately avoids situations associated with loneliness due to strong fear.
• If fear makes life uncomfortable and interferes with daily functioning.

In the early stages, the disorder is corrected fairly quickly, so a timely consultation can decide the outcome of the entire disease.

Forecast

The prognosis for fear of loneliness depends on many factors - primarily on the severity of the clinical picture and the presence of concomitant psychopathologies. The probability of eradicating the phobia exists only if it has formed on a personal and emotional basis, and not on the basis of mental pathological disorders.

Of no small importance is the mental and emotional background of not only the patient himself, but also his close and dear people, who in this situation should show maximum attention, care and understanding. In no case should the patient be humiliated or reproached for his fear. On the contrary, the person should be supported, and confidence in his abilities should be demonstrated.

In general, the prognosis question is determined individually for each specific case. Most often, the fear of loneliness either disappears or is gradually compensated. Less often, the pathology progresses, which is typical mainly for different variations of obsessive-compulsive disorders.