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Birth of a second child: the best age difference of children
Last reviewed: 19.10.2021
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The birth of a second child, compared to the first, is not so terrible. Mom has experience in caring for a child, she already knows what kind of delivery is, and the older child, if he is older, can help. But many parents who plan pregnancy, ask themselves the question: what is the difference between children is optimal? Is this one or two years or is it 8-10 years?
Read also: Birth of the third child, payments for the third child
A year and a half or two
Such children are called pogodkami. No sooner had the first child grown, Mom is waiting for the second. In this difference, there are pluses and minuses.
Pros
The small difference in the age of children allows you to treat them almost as if they were twins, without indicating the older and younger. They are still too young to understand their seniority.
While children are growing, almost all their games and their development goes together. Between such a pregnancy - one and the second - there is usually no way out to work, mother does not need to throw the older child out of the decree - it immediately continues, because the youngest was born. In addition, the mother can receive payment during pregnancy and childbirth and help after the birth of the child with a short break, which will allow her to save a good amount.
In Ukraine, since January 2012, for the first child, the mother receives 30 subsistence minimums before the child turns 6 years old. Help for a second child is twice as large. One-time help for the first child for the mother will be 8930 UAH., And for the second - the same. But the amount of payments for a second child is more than the first - it is equal to 53580 UAH.
Minuses
Children-pogodki require great attention and energy. After all, my mother will have to take care of two children about the same age. Both of them are small, both require maternal affection, love and a night sleep. Physically, this is very difficult. Moreover, after the first birth, not much time passed, and my mother may be exhausted.
Well, if the raising of children actively includes dad and grandmothers and help my mother. Then the burden of the mother is not so heavy.
Difference between kids in 3-4 years
This is a good difference between children. It is considered the middle ground of physiologists and psychologists
Pros
After childbirth is not so much time, so the body of the mother has time to recover and prepare for the next birth. In addition, my mother has a very good experience in caring for a child. She does not have time to forget what nappies and ryazhonki, and at the same time, the older baby is growing enough to allow mother to give more time to the younger - after all, she again will not have to sleep at night, breastfeed, watch her diet.
The difference between the babies is not so great that the older child has jealousy and the realization that he is taking away his beloved mother. When children grow up a little, they can play with common toys, they will have common interests, they will also learn with a small difference in school, and the elder can help to do lessons for the younger one. Because of the small age difference, children will understand each other better. Also. The development of a younger one can be accelerated, because he will see how the elder learns to speak and walk, how he will first go to school. The regime of the day for such children can also be adjusted: lifting and packing can take place at the same time.
Minuses
If the older child was spoiled and the souls in him as in the firstborn did not seem to be, parents can face the persistent rejection of another child in the family. The younger child in 3-4 years is experiencing the same crisis as teenagers are experiencing. At this time, his personality is actively formed, and the child can be stubborn, capricious, many and often sick, so that parents pay attention only to him. Therefore, the older child should be given as much affection and attention as possible so that he feels secure.
Difference between children 4-8 years old
Also a very good age for the birth of a second child. Psychologists call it the optimal age, not only for both kids, but for the whole family.
Pros
While the second child is born, mom and dad have time to give maximum attention and love to the older child, devote all his time to him. Therefore, the older child should not feel deprived of the attention of the parents, unless he is jealous. In addition, a child at 5 years old is in the afternoon in the preparatory group of the kindergarten, so the mother may not be torn in the afternoon between the younger and the older, and in the evening pay attention to both. A child from 6-7 years already attends school, so my mother has free time in the daytime for a younger child. And a child aged 5-6 years old can already help around the house and raise a younger brother or sister.
Minuses
A child at this age can be jealous of mom and dad, so he needs to pay maximum attention. Despite whether the mother is tired or not, whether she wants to sleep or not, the habits of the older child should be respected. For example, bedding, reading your favorite books at night, walking and hiking in the circus.
[13], [14], [15], [16], [17], [18], [19], [20]
Difference between children 10-15 years old
This is a very big difference. As a rule, such a difference arises either because of illness of parents, when doctors were not allowed to have children, or because of repeated marriage, or because of an unplanned pregnancy. As if there was not, the big difference between the first and second child has its pros and cons.
Pros
The senior child can quite consciously be the nanny to the first, to help the mother around the house. This is already a fully formed personality, which needs to be explained that he will have a brother or sister, and prepare them for birth so that the child does not have stress.
The second child is more defenseless and too small, in his background the elder can feel more responsible and independent. If the difference between children is too great, then the elder can become a younger friend and mentor - children can share such secrets that you will not tell your parents.
Minuses
The child, despite the age, can feel that all attention is now switched to the younger one. If he now receives almost no parental attention, he can get angry and fall into depression.
At whatever age mother gave birth to, and whatever the difference between the children, the second child should receive the maximum of parental love and warmth - he is still a child. The birth of the second child should unite the family even more, and not disconnect it.