Seven Methods to Deal with Parental Over-Control

Very often, adolescents complain that parents control their every step, they do not allow them to breathe freely, and their lives become unbearable. In this article there are important ways that will help to better understand the behavior of the father and mother and cope with the parents' hyper control.

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It is important to understand: parents love you

Remember that even strict parents really love their children. They overly control the child because they are worried and afraid that if someone else controls the children, something can happen to them.

A young man should never think that he is under someone's power, even if it's your parents. It is normal for young people to live with their parents even after adulthood. But some parents are still experiencing a personal internal crisis that makes them dominate and control the grown up children. Most of the parents really love their children, but because of their own insecurities they can not allow their children to live on their own or even express their own opinion. If a teenager understands the motives of his parents, who control him excessively, it will help him to survive a difficult situation. So, how to cope with the hypercontrol of strict parents?

Method number 1. Look at yourself

A teenager is the same person as everyone else, and deserves his own high self-esteem. If you do not feel trust from your mom or dad, think about why they do it. Maybe they are afraid to show emotion towards you?

Method number 2. Determine your fear factor

Are you afraid that your mom and / or dad do not love you more, because they constantly control you? Do not you want to talk to them for fear of enduring long, boring lectures? Are you afraid of your mom or dad? Are you relieved when no one is home? If one parent inspires you with more fear than other people, then you have really authoritarian parents.

Method number 3. Ask yourself, maybe your parents are perfectionists

Often strict parents are real perfectionists. Their desire to do everything better than everyone else and be the best of all drives us insane, angry and upset. No matter how hard we try to work, they are never happy. There is nothing wrong with this, insisting on perfection or doing any job perfectly, but it seems to the teenager that no matter how hard he tries, in the eyes of his parents he will never be perfect.

In other words, you never get just praise from your parents, it always follows either "but" or "except for ..." For example: "Yes, you made a beautiful model, if not for this incorrectly painted part, it would be is beautiful. "Accept their desire to dilute the compliment with an unpleasant" but "simply as a property of character, then you can perceive any assessment of the parents more calmly.

Method number 4. Please note, maybe your parents see you as a competitor

Some parents, believe it or not, are quite competitive with their children. In other words, the father sees that his sons are growing up, and suddenly realizes that they are becoming his competitors in some sort of activity. To maintain his "Alpha-status" father can behave as if competing with his growing sons. It is important to understand the motives of this behavior of the father (or mother) and just talk frankly with them.

Method number 5. Do not take things from your parents

Mom's cosmetic bag, father's car ... Parents can treat their personal things with trepidation and are very angry when their children use them as their own. If your parents get upset, when you shift things on their desk, take their clothes or just a stack of magazines that Dad used to see on his TV chair, just do not touch them. You deal with parents who value their own space most of all. Do not be surprised that they get angry when they see that their things are out of place. Be honest with yourself - do you put the things of your parents back, or just throw them somewhere? If you will be careful about the things of your parents, they will notice your accuracy and be sure to be appreciated.

Method number 6. Observe whether their personal status is important for parents

The controlling person is often not sure of himself. Maybe your parents have a habit of showing off? "Yes, it costs a lot of money, but I earn so much that I can afford it." Reminding people of how much money they earn, your parents practice a peculiar way of establishing control, which allows them to feel calmer and more confident in society. If you have witnessed such a situation, just do not argue. This is a way to attract attention to yourself.

Method number 7. Answer the question whether your parents recognize your success or failure

The controlling personality basically associates the successes and failures of their children with their own. Controlling their teenage children, they want to help you avoid the mistakes that they made. If you are confused, brought home the wrong assessment, and your parents strongly criticized you for this, maybe even justified, they expressed their resentment for your mistakes. Not because they condemn you, but because they are very worried about their children. In your opinion, you did your best to get the highest score on the subject, which was never your favorite. But it did not work.

In the minds of your parents, this situation is unacceptable. The fact that parents scold you for a bad evaluation means that they perceive your failure as your own defeat. Do not fight it. Be polite and compassionate, and remember - most of what happens to your parents, says a lot about them. Follow your observations and learn to speak frankly with your parents about what you feel after their actions. Then they too will understand you better.