What is an adolescent crisis?

"He snaps at me all the time", "He constantly makes claims against me", "He's completely out of control!" - these are the constant complaints of parents whose child is a teenager. If parents knew that there is a crisis of adolescence, they would react much more calmly to all the tricks and mischief of their imperceptibly grown-up child. We will tell you about the typical features of teenager behavior so that parents can better understand how to act.

What is adolescence?

Doctors classify adolescence from a fairly early period. Doctors and lawyers distinguish several categories of teenagers:

• Younger teenager – 12-13 years old
• Average adolescence age is 13-16 years
• Late adolescence – 16-17 years old.

What age is your child? Sometimes it is very difficult for parents to cope with a son or daughter who becomes completely unbearable at this age. They simply do not know what to do: such a recently obedient child is now constantly being rude, he has his own point of view on everything, he thinks that he is smarter than all the parents and grandparents put together. Adults need to understand that this is dictated not by the spoiled character of the son or daughter, but by teenage characteristics, which rarely bypass anyone. After all, a couple of decades ago, parents themselves were like that, they just forgot...

Why is adolescence the hardest time?

What explains the difficulties of adolescence, which - whether we like it or not - is always the most difficult in the relationship between parents and children? First of all, this age is characterized by hormonal storms, due to which there are changes in the child's behavior and psyche.

Excessive production of some hormones and lack of others, a change in their ratios can make a real tyrant out of a child or, on the contrary, a depressive hysteric. Parents need to survive this period because it is temporary. 3-5 years of patient attitude and reasonable demands on a son or daughter - this is the hard parental price to pay for the quirks of physiology.

Of course, hormones are not the only stumbling block in understanding the older and younger generations. The child is growing rapidly, developing, he wants to feel like an adult, but is not yet ready for this socially and psychologically. Therefore, parents should understand that the child's conflicts with them or with teachers at school, as well as with each other, are, first of all, a conflict of the teenager with himself. The crisis of adolescence. What characterizes this difficult period?

1. A constant or recurring feeling of restlessness, fidgeting, or anxiety
2. Over- or under-esteem
3. Increased excitability, nocturnal erotic fantasies, increased interest in the opposite sex
4. Sharp mood swings from cheerful to gloomy and depressive
5. Constant dissatisfaction with parents or other people
6. Heightened sense of justice

At this time, the child is in a constant struggle with himself. On the one hand, he is already an adult, he has all the sexual characteristics of an adult (especially in late adolescence). On the other hand, the teenager cannot yet realize himself socially, he asks mom and dad for money for buns and coffee, and he is ashamed of it. In addition, at this age, the teenager is inclined to attribute many merits to himself, which for some reason adults do not recognize. His biggest complaint to the world at this time is that the teenager is not given the right to freedom and is limited in everything.

What reactions to expect from a teenager?

The reactions of teenagers at this age can be divided into 4 large groups. It is important for parents to know about them in order to successfully navigate the difficult behavior of their child.

"The reaction of total emancipation"

This is the most common reaction during adolescence. The child seems to be telling both parents and the world: “I am already an adult, listen to me, take me into account! No need to control me!” At this time, the child wants to show that he is a person, free, independent, and does not need instructions from others on what to do. Too much need for self-expression and too little experience are the two factors that give rise to the conflict of adolescence.

The child is in conflict with adults and at the same time – with himself. Do not be surprised if the child refuses to fulfill simple requests: to clean the room, to go to the store, to put on this or that jacket. This age is characterized as the age of devaluation of all the experience accumulated by the elders and their spiritual ideals. In the pursuit of imaginary freedom, the teenager can go to extremes: leave home, not go to school, constantly object to parents, scream and get hysterical. This is a typical reaction for this age, so parents need to be patient and tactful and talk to their son or daughter more often, not to miss psychological breakdowns.

Grouping reaction

This is a line of behavior in which teenagers gather in groups - by interests, psychological needs, social status. At the age of 14-17, children tend to form groups: musical groups, where they can shout and drum to their heart's content, play the guitar, sports groups, where they can wrestle and show each other different techniques, and finally, yard groups, where children can drink beer or energy drinks together and talk about the forbidden - about sex, for example. In such a group, there is always a leader - he learns to win his authority just like in adult life, there are conflicting parties and those who support each other. Such teenage groups are a model of the future adult society. Children practice behaving the way their moms and dads behave. True, unconsciously.

Often teenagers value the opinion of their small group and try not to lose their authority in it. Few people at this age allow themselves the luxury and have enough wisdom to remain themselves. The opinion of Kolya from his class can be an authority for a child, but he may not value the opinion of his parents.

Hobby (interest) reaction

This hobby for teenagers can be different activities, both good and bad. Wrestling, dancing, a musical group - good. Taking money from younger people - bad. But both can coexist and manifest themselves in adolescence. Hobbies are divided into:

Educational (all activities that provide new knowledge – music, roller skating, photography)

Cumulative (collecting posters, stamps, money, etc.) sports (running, weightlifting, dancing, etc.)

The hobby reaction is a good reason for parents to get to know their child better and give them more favorite tasks instead of the child wasting time on arguing and proving their case. If a teenager is busy with their favorite activity, they simply won’t have time to rebel.

Self-knowledge reaction

This reaction manifests itself in a teenager as a way to understand himself and, most importantly, what the child is capable of, what he does best, and how he can best express himself. Maximalism in adolescence and the belief that he can change the whole world are traits typical of a child. These are good traits that, with great persistence, will make such a child a successful person. It’s just a pity that after a couple of years these traits gradually fade away and the teenager, having become an adult, goes to an unloved job or gives up on himself.

The most important traits of a teenager who is imbued with self-knowledge are comparing themselves with other people (usually more successful ones)

• Forming authorities and idols for oneself
• Formation of one's own personal value
• Goals and objectives for the future (conquer the world, invent a time machine, come up with a new nuclear bomb)

When a child communicates with his peers adults, his self-esteem is corrected and regulated. The child craves recognition - explicitly or implicitly. If he succeeds, he becomes more successful. If not - hidden complexes appear, a desire to compensate for the lack of attention of society with defiant behavior. Or, on the contrary, the teenager withdraws into himself and stops trusting people. This is also a manifestation of the crisis of adolescence.

Teen personality traits that are important for parents to know

All teenagers have the same character traits to one degree or another. Parents should know them in order to be ready to react to the antics of their son or daughter in time. And understand that such behavior is not an exception, but the norm in adolescence. Therefore, you need to show maximum patience and wisdom in communicating with a teenager. Here are the behavior patterns typical for teenagers aged 12-17 who suffer from a teenage crisis

• Rejection of injustice, a harsh attitude towards its slightest manifestations
• Cruelty and even cruelty towards loved ones, especially parents
• Rejection of authority, especially the authority of adults
• The desire to take action and understand the situations that happen to a teenager
• Strong emotionality, vulnerability
• Striving for the ideal, striving to be perfect, but rejecting any comments from adults
• The desire for extravagant actions, the desire to stand out "from the crowd"
• Showy bravado, the desire to show one's determination and courage, "coolness"
• The conflict between the desire to have a lot of material goods and the inability to earn them, the desire to have “everything at once.”
• Alternating periods of vigorous activity and lack of initiative, when the teenager is disappointed in the whole world.

Knowing these features will help parents be more loyal to their children when they are going through a teenage crisis, and will help them cope with it more easily themselves.

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