What should you do if your baby cries at daycare?

If a child cries in kindergarten, parents should be patient and know the peculiarities of their baby's nervous system. No matter how much you want to accustom your child to kindergarten as quickly as possible, you need to understand that full adaptation will not occur earlier than two or three months after the child enters kindergarten. So, what else do parents need to know?

Features of the baby's nervous system

Children are different. One immediately starts crying in kindergarten as soon as mom disappears behind the door, and then calms down. Another baby cries all day long. A third immediately gets sick - and this is also a form of protest against an unfamiliar environment. For a child, parting with mom and dad is a tragedy. He can get over it quickly if he likes the environment in the kindergarten. But if not, the child may never adapt to conditions that are alien to him. The result may be hysterics, constant crying in the kindergarten and frequent illnesses.

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Which children adjust best to kindergarten?

According to educators and child psychologists, children from large families who were born and raised in communal apartments, where the upbringing process was based from the very beginning on equal partnership relations with parents (when parents consider the child equal and treat him as an adult), adapt best to the unfamiliar environment of a kindergarten.

When Crying Can Be Harmful to a Child's Health

American studies show that crying can cause irreparable harm to a child's nervous system. A child's crying should be dosed, says psychologist Dr. Penelope Leach. She examined about 250 children and found that crying for more than 20 minutes in a row has a strong impact on a child's health. This applies not only to crying in kindergarten, but also to raising a child at home. Those children who cry for more than 20 minutes then experience more problems throughout their lives, because they get used to the idea that no one will come to their cry for help and help. In addition, says Dr. Leach, prolonged crying in children destroys their brain, which later leads to problems with learning.

When a baby cries, the stress hormone cortisol is produced in the body, which is produced by the adrenal glands. This cortisol is the hormone that can damage the baby's nervous system. The longer the crying, the more cortisol is produced and the greater the likelihood of damage to nerve cells.

"This does not mean that a child should never cry or that parents should worry as soon as a child cries. All children cry, some more than others. It is not the crying itself that is bad for children, but the fact that the child's cry for help is not answered," writes Dr. Leach in his book.

When should you not send your child to kindergarten?

Parents should know that boys aged 3 to 5 adapt to a new environment much worse than girls of the same age. The period of three years is the most difficult for a child. At this age, a mental breakdown occurs, the formation of the child's "I", this is a critical age for him. If you send a child to a kindergarten during the period of greatest vulnerability, his psyche may be irreparably damaged, and the adaptation period will drag on for a long time - up to six months.

Children from three to five years old have a very hard time being separated from their mother, as their bond with her is the strongest at this age. Breaking it is very risky, you need to know how to do it.

You can't send your child to kindergarten if he or she is often sick - this will completely upset the child's weakened immune system. You can't send your child to kindergarten if he or she is still very small and is too hard to cope with separation from his or her mother.

How to properly adapt a child to kindergarten?

First, the child should go to kindergarten with his mother and see what other children are doing there. Simply leaving the child in kindergarten and leaving for the whole day is inhumane. The child's nervous system will receive a powerful blow, from which it will take a long time to recover.

Mom or dad should definitely go with the baby to the kindergarten and be in the children's environment. The child will be calmer if mom is nearby. When the children are out for a walk, mom can bring the baby to the kindergarten so that he can walk with them without being separated from mom. You also need to bring the child to the kindergarten in the evening so that he sees that the parents are picking up the children after the shift. This is very important for the child - to know that someone will definitely come for him.

To prevent the child from seeing other children cry when they leave their mother, he should be brought to kindergarten an hour later during the first week – not at 8:00, but at 9:00. And you should feed the baby breakfast in the usual home environment beforehand, since he may refuse to eat in kindergarten.

The mother can stay with the child in the group for the entire first week so that he feels protected and understands that no one will do anything bad to him here. But do not stay for the whole day, but first for a couple of hours, until the morning walk, then go home with the child. Then the time in the kindergarten can be increased.

And finally, in the second week, you can try leaving your child alone in the kindergarten, but not for the whole day, but until lunch. Then take the baby home.

In the third week, the baby can be left in the kindergarten for the whole day. During this time, he will have time to understand that nothing threatens him in the kindergarten, but on the contrary, it is interesting to play with new children, listen to interesting fairy tales and share new toys.

The degree of adaptation of children to kindergarten

Each child has their own peculiarities of the nervous system, so they adapt differently to the unfamiliar environment of the kindergarten. Some get used to and adjust quickly, while others have a very difficult time. Based on how quickly a child begins to navigate unfamiliar conditions, they can be divided into three large groups.

The most difficult degree of adaptation

The child may have a nervous breakdown due to the unfamiliar environment, he cries for a long time and inconsolably, being left without his mother, he begins to get sick often and for a long time. The child does not want to contact anyone except his parents, does not want to play in the kindergarten with other children, is withdrawn and poorly concentrated. It is impossible to amuse him with toys, the baby goes through them one after another, not stopping at any one. He has no desire to play, as well as no desire to establish contact with other children.

As soon as the teacher says something to the child, he may become frightened and start calling for his mother, crying, or not reacting to the teacher’s words at all.

Actions of parents

It is necessary to be as flexible as possible with such a child; the first week or two the mother should be with him in the kindergarten, and it is advisable to go to a consultation with a psychologist.

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Average level of adaptation

Such a child can play with other children, cry for a short time, but he shows a hidden protest to an unfamiliar environment. And it manifests itself in frequent illnesses - colds, sore throats, runny noses, allergies. When the mother leaves the child alone and goes away, he worries for a relatively short time, and then begins to play with other children. During the day, he may have seemingly causeless outbursts of capriciousness, anger, aggression or tearfulness. From these symptoms, you can understand that the child has not yet adapted properly.

Typically, such children can adapt to a new group of children and teachers for at least one and a half months.

Actions of parents

Delicacy of parents and educators, conversations and explanations concerning the child's stay in the kindergarten. Parents should talk to the child every day, find out what events took place in the kindergarten, and analyze them piece by piece. Parents should also constantly keep in touch with the educators in order to react in time to any problems of the child.

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High degree of adaptation

When a child adapts very well to an unfamiliar environment, it is easy for parents and teachers. Good adaptation means that the child goes to kindergarten willingly, quickly establishes contact with other children, and adequately responds to the teachers' comments. The adaptation period for such children is the shortest - less than three weeks. The child almost never gets sick, which means that he or she tolerates kindergarten conditions well.

A child with a good degree of adaptation is not bored, does not act up, does not cry. He knows how to find an activity for himself and involve other children in it. He calmly shares toys and his in the company of other children. Such a child falls asleep calmly and wakes up on time, does not get nervous during a walk.

When parents come, the child willingly tells them about the events that took place in the kindergarten.

Actions of parents

The fact that a child tolerates the environment in a kindergarten relatively easily does not mean that he should be left to his own devices. In the first week, you still need to adapt the child, prepare him for the kindergarten, tell him about the new children and the strange aunt-teacher. You need to tell the child why he goes to kindergarten and what awaits him there. And most importantly, let the child understand that mom or dad will definitely take him home after the shift.

Tips for parents to help children better adapt to kindergarten

If a child cries in kindergarten, it is an indicator that he needs help. After all, a small person is still so defenseless, and his nervous system is so fragile. Be sure to ask the teacher how much your child cries and when. Maybe he is most upset in the morning when you leave? Maybe in the evening when he thinks that he will not be picked up? Or maybe the child cries after sleep because the new environment is uncomfortable for him? Depending on the reason for the crying, you can eliminate it and thus calm the upset baby.

1. Pay attention to whether the child cries after his mother takes him to kindergarten or, perhaps, the crying intensifies when his father takes him to kindergarten? If the child cries less when another family member (not mother) takes him to kindergarten, let this family member (father, grandfather, older sister) take him for now. This should be done until the baby adapts.
2. Ask the teacher what games or toys your child enjoys the most. Maybe he calms down when he goes to bed with his favorite horse? Or after talking to the girl Irochka? Or does he like it when the teacher reads him the fairy tale about the Golden Cockerel? These methods should be used when the child cries in the kindergarten.
3. Don't be silent, talk to your child even if he is still small and can't talk to you. When mom and dad talk to the child, explain something, share impressions, the baby calms down and cries much less often. It is very good when on the way to kindergarten mom tells the child about the interesting things that await the child in the group. And on the way home she also tells the child something, asks how he spent the day.
4. You can give your child his favorite doll or teddy bear to take to kindergarten – a toy with which he feels more secure. Every child probably has such a toy. This is a particularly good way if the child has a difficult or average degree of adaptation to an unfamiliar environment. You can also give the child his favorite thing to take with him – a dress, a towel, a scarf, favorite slippers. With these items, the child will feel a little more comfortable – it’s like he has a piece of his familiar home environment with him.
5. There is another great way to ease the child's adaptation to kindergarten. You can give the child a key and say that it is the key to the apartment. You can tell the child that now only he or she will have the key to the apartment (house) and without this key mom or dad will not be able to get home until they pick up their baby from kindergarten. This is a very good move that will help the child feel important and needed. It will also help the child gain additional self-confidence and the fact that the parents will definitely pick him or her up from kindergarten as soon as possible. The child should have this key in a place where the baby can get it and associate it with the arrival of his or her parents. This will give him or her self-confidence in those moments when the baby cries in kindergarten.
6. When parents pick up their child from kindergarten, they should not rush, get nervous or shout. Even if the parents are nervous silently, the child immediately reads these emotions and repeats them. After all, the baby's connection with parents at this age is very strong. So that your child does not get upset and does not cry, try to be in a good mood and good health yourself.
7. You shouldn't react to the child's first tears and whims. He will quickly understand that he can manipulate mom and dad in this way. Be firm in your intentions and don't back down from them. If you have already decided to send your child to kindergarten, go through the first month of adaptation with him (or maybe longer) and be sensitive to his needs and problems. Your firmness and goodwill will help the child find peace in an unfamiliar environment.
8. Come up with a sweet tradition when you say goodbye to your child, leaving him in the kindergarten. Teach him to blow a kiss or kiss the child on the cheek, pat him on the back, give another conventional sign that speaks of love for the child. This exchange of signs "I love you" calms the baby, gives him a feeling of security despite the fact that his beloved mother (father) is about to leave.

If a child cries in kindergarten, parents can save him from any problems with patience, love, and attention. After all, they once had an adaptation period too.