What if the baby cries in the garden?

, medical expert
Last reviewed: 01.06.2018

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If a child cries in the garden, parents should be patient and know the features of their baby's nervous system. However you want to accustom your child to kindergarten as soon as possible, you need to understand that full adaptation will not come sooner than two or three months after the child enters the kindergarten. So, what do you need to know to your parents yet?

Features of the nervous system of the baby

Children are different. One immediately begins to cry in the kindergarten as soon as mother disappears behind the door, and then calms down. Another baby sobs throughout the day. The third one immediately falls ill - and this is also a form of protest against an unfamiliar situation. For the child parting with his mother and father - a whole tragedy. He can survive it quickly if the situation in the kindergarten he likes. But if not, the child may not adjust to the conditions that are alien to himself. The result can be hysterics, constant crying in the garden and frequent illnesses.

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Which children best adapt to kindergarten?

According to educators and children's psychologists, to an unfamiliar situation in kindergarten, children from large families who were born and brought up in communal apartments, where the process of upbringing from the very beginning was based on equal partnership with parents (when parents consider the child equal and relate to him as an adult).

When crying can be harmful to a child's health

American studies show that crying can cause irreparable harm to the child's nervous system. We need to dose the child's crying, says the psychology doctor Penelope Leach. She examined about 250 children and found that crying for more than 20 minutes in a row causes a severe blow to the health of the child. This applies not only to crying in the kindergarten, but also to the upbringing of the child at home. Those children who cry for more than 20 minutes, then experience more problems throughout their life, because they get used to the idea that no one will come to their cry for help and will not help. In addition, says Dr. Leach, the prolonged crying of children destroys their brains, which subsequently leads to problems with their studies.

When a child cries, a stress hormone called cortisol produced by the adrenal glands is produced in his body. This cortisol is the hormone that can damage the child's nervous system. The longer the crying, the more cortisol is produced and the more likely the damage to nerve cells.

"It does not mean that a child should never cry or that parents should worry as soon as a child begins to cry, all children cry, some more than others." Bad for children is not crying, but the fact that the child does not receive a response to his cry about help, "Dr. Leach writes in his book.

When you can not give the child to the kindergarten?

Parents should know that boys aged 3 to 5 years are much more adaptable to the new environment than girls of the same age. The period of three years is the most difficult for the child. At this age there is a break in the psyche, the formation of the "I" of the child, this is a critical age for him. If, during the period of greatest vulnerability, to take the child to kindergarten, his psyche can irreparably suffer, and the period of adaptation will be prolonged for a long time - up to six months.

Children from three to five years are very hard to part with their mother, since their relationship with her at this age is the strongest. It is very risky to tear it up, it needs to be able to do it.

You can not give the child to the kindergarten, if he is often sick, this will completely upset the weakened immune system of the child. You can not give the child to the kindergarten, if he is still very small and too hard to be separated from his mother.

How to properly adapt a child to a kindergarten?

First the child should go to a kindergarten with his mother and see what other children do there. Just leave the child in the kindergarten and go for a whole day - inhuman. The baby's nervous system will receive a powerful blow from which it will take a long time to recover.

Mom or dad should definitely go to the kindergarten with the baby and stay in the children's environment. The baby will be more relaxed if the mother is near. When the children are on a walk, the mother can bring the baby to the kindergarten so that he can walk with them without separation from his mother. It is necessary to bring the child to the kindergarten even in the evening so that he can see that the parents take the children after the shift. It is very important for the child to know that they will necessarily come for him.

That the child did not see, how other children cry at parting from mum, all first week it needs to be resulted in a garden for an hour later - not to 8.00, and to 9.00. And you need to pre-feed your baby breakfast in the usual home environment, as in the kindergarten, he can refuse to eat.

Throughout the first week, mom can stay with the child in the group, so that he feels secure and understands that nothing will do him any harm. But stay not for the whole day, but first for a couple of hours, before the morning walk, then leave with the child home. Then time in the kindergarten can be increased.

And finally in the second week you can try to leave the child alone in the kindergarten, but not for the whole day, but before lunch. Then take the baby home.

In the third week the baby can be left in the kindergarten for the whole day. During this time he will have time to understand that in the kindergarten he does not face anything, but on the contrary, it is interesting to play with new children, listen to interesting tales and share new toys.

The degree of adaptation of children to kindergarten

Each child has its own peculiarities of the nervous system, so they adapt differently to the unfamiliar environment of the kindergarten. Some get used to and adapt quickly, others are very difficult. By how quickly the child begins to orientate in unfamiliar conditions, you can divide them into three large groups.

The most difficult degree of adaptation

Because of unfamiliar conditions, a nervous breakdown can occur in the child, he cries for a long time and inconsolably, leaving without his mother, starts to hurt often and for a long time. The child does not want to communicate with anyone other than parents, does not want to play in the kindergarten with other children, is closed and poorly focused. Toys can not amuse him, the kid sorts them one by one, without stopping at all. He does not have the desire to play, just like the desire to establish contact with other children.

As soon as the teacher tells something to the child, he can be frightened and start calling his mother, crying or not responding at all to the teacher's words.

Actions of parents

We need to be as flexible as possible with this child, the first week or two mom should be with him in the kindergarten, and preferably go to a consultation with a psychologist.

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Average degree of adaptation

Such a child can play with other children, crying is not very long, but he manifests a hidden protest in an unfamiliar setting. And it manifests itself as frequent diseases - colds, tonsillitis, runny nose, allergies. When the mother leaves the child alone and leaves, he experiences a relatively short time, and then begins to play with other children. During the day he may have seemingly unreasonable outbursts of capriciousness, anger, aggression or tearfulness. On these symptoms it can be understood that the child has not yet adapted properly.

Usually such children can adapt to the new children's collective and educators for at least one and a half months.

Actions of parents

The delicacy of parents and educators, conversations and explanations, which concern the child's stay in the kindergarten. Parents should talk with the child every day, find out what events took place in the kindergarten, and disassemble them according to the bones. Parents should also keep in touch with caregivers in time to react to any problems of the child.

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High degree of adaptation

When a child very well adapts in an unfamiliar environment, parents and caregivers easily. Good adaptation means that the child goes to the kindergarten willingly, quickly establishes contact with children, responds adequately to the remarks of educators. Adaptation period for such children is the shortest - less than three weeks. The child is almost not sick, it means that he safely endures the conditions of the kindergarten.

A child with a good degree of adaptation is not bored, not capricious, does not cry. He knows how to find a job and involve other children in it. He quietly shares his toys and his in the company of other children. Such a child quietly falls asleep and wakes up in time, does not get nervous for a walk.

When parents come, the child willingly tells them about the events that took place in the kindergarten.

Actions of parents

The fact that the child comparatively easily tolerates the situation in the kindergarten does not mean that you need to provide it to yourself. In the first week, you still need to adapt the child, prepare him for the kindergarten, talk about new children and someone else's aunt-educator. The child should be told why he goes to the kindergarten and what is waiting for him there. And most importantly - to let the kid know that mom or dad will necessarily take him home after a shift.

Tips for parents for better adaptation of children in the garden

If a child cries in the garden, this is an indication that he needs help. After all, the little man is still so defenseless, and his nervous system is so fragile. Be sure to ask the teacher how much your child cries and when. Maybe he is most upset in the morning when you leave? Maybe in the evening, when he thinks that they will not take him away? Or maybe the baby cries after sleeping, because the new environment is uncomfortable for him? Depending on the cause of crying, you can eliminate it and soothe the frustrated baby.

  1. Pay attention to whether the child cries after the mother takes him to the kindergarten, or, perhaps, the crying grows stronger when the father takes him to the kindergarten? If the child cries less, when another family member (not Mom) takes him to the kindergarten, let this member of the family (father, grandfather, elder sister) take him away for now. So you need to do it until the baby adapts.
  2. Find out from the caregiver what games or toys are most pleasing to your child. Maybe he calms down, going to bed with his beloved horse? Or after talking with the girl Irochka? Or does he like it when a teacher reads to him a fairy tale about the Golden Cockerel? These methods should be used when the child cries in the garden.
  3. Do not be silent, talk with your child, even if he is still small and can not talk with you. When mom and dad talk with the child, explain something, share their impressions, the baby calms down and cries much less often. Very well, when on the way to the kindergarten the mother tells the child about the interesting thing that awaits the baby in the group. And on the way home, too, something tells the child, asks how he spent the day.
  4. You can give your child in the garden of his favorite doll or bear - a toy with which he feels more protected. Such a toy is sure to be found in every child. This is a particularly good method if the child has a severe or moderate degree of adaptation to an unfamiliar environment. You can also give your child with his favorite thing - a dress, a towel, a handkerchief, favorite slippers. With these objects, the child will feel a little more comfortable - with him, like a piece of the familiar home environment.
  5. There is another wonderful way to soften the adaptation of the child in the kindergarten. You can give the child a key and say that this is the key to the apartment. You can tell your child that now the key to the apartment (house) will only be with him and without that key, mom or dad can not get home until they take their baby from the kindergarten. This is a very good move that will help the child feel important and necessary. This will also help the child gain additional confidence in himself and that parents will necessarily take him out of the kindergarten as soon as possible. This key should be in the child's place in such a place that the baby could get it and associate it with the arrival of the parents. This will give him confidence in those moments when the baby cries in the kindergarten.
  6. When parents take a child out of the kindergarten, they should not be in a hurry, nervous or screaming. Even if the parents are nervous silently, the child instantly reads these emotions and repeats them. After all, the relationship of the baby with the parents at this age is very strong. To your child does not get upset and do not cry, try to be in a good mood and good health.
  7. Do not react to the first tears and vagaries of the child. He will quickly understand that this way he can be manipulated by his mother and father. Be firm in your intentions and do not step back from them. If you decide to turn the child into a kindergarten, survive with him the first month of adaptation (or maybe longer) and react sensitively to his needs and problems. Your firmness and goodwill will help your child to find peace in an unusual environment.
  8. Think of a nice tradition when you say goodbye to your child, leaving him in the garden. Teach him to send an air kiss or kiss the child on the cheek, stroke him on the back, give another conventional sign that speaks of love for the child. This exchange of signs "I love you" calms the baby, gives him a sense of security, despite the fact that my beloved mother (dad) will now leave.

If a child cries in kindergarten, parents can save him from any problems with patience, love, and care. After all, the period of adaptation was once theirs.

It is important to know!

Parents pay little attention to the problem of adaptation to kindergarten, alas, this is true. Why does the child have frequent colds, respiratory diseases, a bad mood and loud, long crying, hysterics before going to the kindergarten? Read more..

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