Seven methods for coping with hyper controlling parents

Very often teenagers complain that their parents control their every step, do not allow them to breathe freely, and their life has become unbearable. This article contains important methods that will help you better understand the behavior of your dad and mom and cope with your parents' hypercontrol.

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It is important to understand: your parents love you

Remember that even strict parents really love their children. They control their children too much because they are worried and afraid that if someone else controls their children, something might happen to them.

A young person should never feel that he is under someone's authority, even if it is your parents. It is normal for young people to live with their parents even after they reach adulthood. But some parents still experience a personal inner crisis that makes them dominate and control their grown-up children. Most parents really love their children, but due to their own insecurity, they cannot allow their children to live on their own or even express their own opinions. If a teenager understands the motives of their parents who are overly controlling, it will help them to better cope with a difficult situation. So, how to cope with hypercontrol of strict parents?

Method #1: Look at yourself

A teenager is a person like everyone else and deserves to have high self-esteem. If you don’t feel trusted by your mom or dad, think about why they do this. Maybe they are afraid to show emotions towards you?

Method No. 2. Determine your fear factor

Are you afraid that your mom and/or dad don't love you anymore because they constantly control you? Do you not want to talk to them for fear of having to endure long, boring lectures? Are you afraid of your mom or dad? Do you feel relieved when no one is home? If one parent instills more fear in you than the other people, then you really do have authoritarian parents.

Method #3: Ask Yourself If Your Parents Are Perfectionists

Often strict parents are real perfectionists. Their desire to do everything better than everyone else and to be the best drives us crazy, angry and upset. No matter how hard we work, they are never satisfied. There is nothing wrong with insisting on perfection or doing any job perfectly, but it seems to the teenager that no matter how hard he tries, he will never be perfect in the eyes of his parents.

In other words, you never get simple praise from your parents, it is always followed by either a "but" or "except..." For example: "Yes, you made a beautiful model, if it weren't for that incorrectly painted detail, it would have been beautiful." Accept their desire to dilute the compliment with an unpleasant "but" simply as a character trait. Then you will be able to perceive any assessment of your parents more calmly.

Method #4: Pay attention, maybe your parents see you as competitors

Some parents, believe it or not, are quite competitive with their children. In other words, a father sees his sons growing up and suddenly realizes that they are becoming his competitors in some activities. In order to maintain his “Alpha status,” a father may act as if he is competing with his growing sons. It is important to understand the motives behind such behavior of a father (or mother) and simply have an open conversation with them.

Method #5: Don't take your parents' things

Mom's makeup bag, dad's car... Parents can be very protective of their personal belongings and get very angry when their children use them as their own. If your parents get upset when you rearrange things on their desk, take their clothes, or just a stack of magazines that dad used to see on his chair in front of the TV, just leave them alone. You are dealing with parents who value their own space above all else. Don't be surprised if they get angry when they see that their things are out of place. Be honest with yourself - do you put your parents' things back, or just throw them somewhere? If you are careful with your parents' things, they will notice your neatness and will definitely appreciate it.

Method #6: Observe whether your parents care about their personal status

A controlling personality is often insecure. Maybe your parents have a habit of bragging? "Yes, it costs a lot of money, but I earn so much that I can afford it." By reminding people how much money they earn, your parents are practicing a peculiar way of establishing control, which allows them to feel calmer and more confident in society. If you witness this situation, just don't argue. It's a way of drawing attention to themselves.

Method #7: Answer the question: Do your parents acknowledge your successes or failures?

The controlling personality mostly associates their children's successes and failures with their own. By controlling their teenage children, they want to help you avoid the mistakes they made. If you messed up, brought home the wrong grade, and your parents scolded you hard for it, maybe even justifiably, they expressed their resentment for your mistakes. Not because they judge you, but because they are very worried about their children. In your opinion, you tried your best to get the highest score in a subject that was never your favorite. But it did not work out.

In your parents' minds, this situation is unacceptable. The fact that your parents scold you for a bad grade means that they perceive your failure as their own personal defeat. Do not fight it. Be polite and compassionate, and remember - most of what happens to your parents says a lot about them. Be guided by your observations and learn to openly talk to your parents about how you feel after their actions. Then they will also understand you better.