A man's preparations for the birth of a child

The couple may be happy to have to prepare for the birth of a child. The wait will be over soon enough and they will begin a new family life.

During the weeks of waiting, there are many things you want to do, such as painting your baby's room, buying a crib, buying a new car seat (this is the most important and highly recommended purchase). It's quite fun to take care of these things together, although we recommend the expectant mother to avoid freshly painted walls and furniture.

The couple may also have other concerns, such as attending childbirth classes and practicing new knowledge at home. If the man wants to help his wife during the birth, there is a need for additional preparation. This is discussed in more detail in Chapter 10. Concerns that should not be put off are choosing a pediatrician and finding a sitter. The couple should think about these together. Why now? To be prepared!

It is better if the spouses choose a pediatrician before the baby is born, so that the doctor can conduct an examination in the maternity hospital. It would be good to talk to the doctor before the woman gives birth, when the man is more emotionally stable than in the maternity hospital. And this meeting in advance will allow the spouses to find someone else if the spouses feel that they cannot agree with this doctor.

Finding out if there are childcare providers in the couple's area is a good idea, especially if they have a new baby. The couple may already have an idea of how much it will cost to hire a nanny or a crèche, but do they really know if it is affordable? In some cases, the couple will have to put their name on a waiting list. A good nanny or crèche for a child under 3 can be hard to find, as children at this age require much more time and energy than older children. The couple may find that these services are not widely available in their area and should put their name on a waiting list as soon as possible.

This is all a very important part of preparing for the birth of your baby. If you are prepared in advance, you can relax knowing that you have already taken care of some important things.

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Choosing a Doctor for a Child

If possible, the baby's pediatrician should be chosen before the baby is born so that the couple can talk to the doctor and visit his office before they decide on a doctor they are comfortable with. The doctor should be seen 3 or 4 weeks before the expected due date, in case the baby is born early. Topics of discussion might include hospital follow-up, whether the woman intends to breastfeed, and if the baby is a boy, whether he should be circumcised.

There are several types of doctors who can provide care for a child. These are pediatricians, family doctors, and primary care physicians. A family doctor or primary care physician may be the only one available in some cases.

To make a choice, you should first ask your friends what doctors they like and trust. You can also ask the obstetrician-gynecologist who is observing the woman about them. If these sources do not contain any names, you should contact the clinic information desk. You need to check your insurance - is there a list of doctors that the insured person is obliged to contact.

Once the couple has chosen a pediatrician, it is necessary to meet with him or her. The person with whom the conversation takes place should be informed that the couple is looking for a pediatrician for their soon-to-be-born child. Some doctors prefer face-to-face meetings, while others organize seminars for several couples. It is necessary to ask if there is an appointment for these meetings. Such events may be paid or free. Below is a list of questions to ask the doctor. These are followed by a list of things to think about after the meeting.

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Questions to ask

Below is a list of questions that couples may want to think about and then ask their doctor to begin a dialogue about child care.

• What are your qualifications and experience?
• How accessible are you?
• Is it possible to arrange reception hours in accordance with our schedule?
• Do you accept clients on weekends?
• Is there someone at the clinic we can call if we just need medical advice?
• Is it possible to examine a sick child on the same day?
• How can we reach you in case of emergency or after work hours?
• Who will take your place in your absence?
• Do you have a website or e-mail?
• Do you or your assistant answer phone calls on the day they are made?
• Does this clinic have an X-ray machine and a laboratory?
• Are you interested in preventive measures, development and behavior of your child?
• How exactly does your practice work?
• Is this covered by our insurance?
• Do you have someone who can check our insurance for us?
• What is the nearest emergency center to our home that we can go to?
• What happens in case of a special medical situation? Who do you contact?

What else should you pay attention to when choosing a pediatrician?

There are some things that spouses cannot discuss until they have reflected on their feelings after their meeting with their doctor. Below is a list of questions to think about together after the meeting.

• Are they comfortable with the doctor's attitude toward things like antibiotics and other medications, child care, or religious beliefs that relate to medicine?
• Is the doctor really interested in the same things as the spouses?
• Will this doctor be available as often as they need?
• Did this doctor show interest in establishing contact with their future child?
• Did this doctor show interest in establishing contact with the spouses?
• Is this the person with whom the spouses feel comfortable and with whom the child will feel comfortable?
• Did this doctor listen to the couple?
• Did he take their concerns seriously?
• Do spouses care about age, experience, degree (or lack thereof), gender, availability, marital status, or other facts about the doctor?

Choosing a childcare facility

Choosing a child care facility or nanny can be a very difficult job, with spouses having to make many decisions in the process. The best way to do this is to understand what the spouses need before they start choosing.

But choosing is only part of the battle, you should know that good nannies and childcare facilities are in high demand and difficult to find. Experts advise parents to start looking at least 6 months before they need these services. In some cases, this may be the end of the second trimester of pregnancy! If the couple manages to find a nursery, organization or nanny that suits them, they should sign up as soon as possible, as there is likely to be a waiting list. If something more suitable comes along later, you can always change your mind.

Before the couple decides what exactly they want, they should decide what they and their child need. In particular, the following options may be available:

• home care provided by a family member or an employee
• home care with a nanny
• nursery or other children's institution

Home care

The couple may decide that the child will remain at home and be cared for by a relative or an employee.

If someone comes home to look after the child, that's good. You won't have to get the child ready to go out in the morning and you won't have to take him anywhere in bad weather. It will also save time.

If child care is provided by a hired worker, it can be very expensive, as the child care worker will be coming to the couple's home. In this case, a new person is coming to the house, and references should be asked for and read carefully.

Home care with a nanny

Couples may decide to have the child cared for at someone else's home because the home environment is less stressful.

However, such organizations are often non-governmental and not even officially registered, so you should check the situation very carefully.

In this case, you may have to pay taxes for the employee, as well as pay for his insurance. The spouses should make sure that their property is insured and that the insurance covers these costs.

Nursery

A crèche is an institution where many children are kept in a large room and cared for. Creches vary greatly in the quality of care and attention given to each individual child. Some crèches do not accept newborns. Babies have specific needs and parents should make sure that the crèche will provide for these.

Necessary things

Couples may be overwhelmed by the abundance of baby items they will find when shopping for their future child. There is no need to buy everything; you should be selective and choose what you really need and what more experienced people have recommended (a crib is a good example; most expectant parents think they don't need one, but if they have a particularly fussy baby, it will be a godsend!).

Think about what the baby will need, make a list and shop accordingly! The couple may want to buy all the cute things they see, but this can be a waste of money. And remember that they will get lots of gifts for the baby that will be useful and save money.

If you are careful and calculating, you can save quite a large amount of money that will be needed for a playpen, equipping a baby changing table and much more. Therefore, spouses should take the time and look around - this can justify the time and effort spent.

There are many ways to find the best value for money in baby clothes. Compare prices at different stores, such as discount stores, specialty stores, home improvement stores, and second-hand stores. Read consumer magazines and search the Internet.

Now is the time to check the balance of the accounts allocated for these purchases. The amount saved may set some spending limits.

We would like to give some advice to the spouses. Impulsive decisions should be avoided. Reasons such as the spouses seeing the item and liking it are not enough to buy it. Find out from other parents what items were useful to them and decide whether such items will be useful to you.

The couple may be amazed at how much they can save by shopping at the least expensive store. If you have a computer, you can compare prices with the Internet. The couple may want to try out the items to see if they are comfortable and easy to use. For example, if the couple is considering buying a backpack or a baby carrier, the styles and the woman's size may affect how comfortable these items are to use.

Should you borrow things?

Couples can save some money by borrowing some baby clothes and other necessities from friends or relatives. It is a proven fact that children do not wear things that they are not old enough to wear. If the couple can borrow a crib or use a stroller for a while, it will greatly help their budget.

If spouses borrow things, they should remember about "etiquette". The spouses will show themselves in a good light, and the one from whom they borrow things will appreciate it. The following manifestations of good manners should be remembered.

Things should be well looked after and kept clean and in good condition.

It is necessary to find out whether the person from whom the spouses are borrowing things wants to get them back and when.

You should not lose track of things. You can make a list of which items were lent by whom and keep it in a safe place, using it to remember what to return to whom.

You can write a thank you letter to the person so that people know that the spouse appreciates their kindness.

You can do something nice for the person from whom the spouses borrowed things, for example, offer them some of their things or bake a plate of their “signature” pies.

What things will spouses need?

A nursery for a newborn can be anything: a separate room, a niche in the wall, or part of the matrimonial bedroom.

BABY CLOTHES. Your baby will need clothes, but you need to be practical in choosing them. Most babies only need a few basic clothes for the first year of life. Many cute outfits look very nice, but you shouldn't spend money on them if you don't need them (the couple may receive a lot of different clothes for the baby as a gift).

The baby will not need as many clothes as the spouses want to buy. Diapers, T-shirts, clothes with a fastener on the back, slippers, socks, rompers, a hat, warm outerwear, a shirt, blankets and towels, and the baby can sleep in almost anything - in a cradle, in a stroller or in a playpen.

The most important items a couple will need when they bring the baby home are something for the baby to sleep in and something to swaddle and dress it in. If the nursery isn't ready when the baby arrives, even a basket will do for the short term.

Other essentials include: a comfortable seat (such as a high chair), a dresser with drawers (if you can use it as a changing table, this can save money), diapers, a baby monitor, a small lamp, a movable table, a vaporizer or humidifier, and a smoke detector.

The couple may decide to buy unassembled furniture. It is usually cheaper and can be assembled to fit the room. When it comes to decorating the room, one should be creative. To make the room more cheerful, one can use a decorative bed canopy and paint. One painted or wallpapered wall will give the room a cheerful look. The couple will not have to spend a lot of money.

PLAYPENS and CRIBs. Many parents want their baby to sleep in a crib in their room for a while, others put him in a playpen in the nursery from the first day he comes home. A crib is a small folding bed for a child to sleep in until he outgrows it. The mattress of this bed should fit tightly, and the sheets should not slip down. There are quite a few models of cribs, and it can be difficult to find the right one.

A playpen is a longer-term item; some can be expanded as the child grows, and can even be converted into a bed. Before making this purchase, you should find out whether each specific model meets safety certifications.

The playpen will need appropriate sheets. Some scientists believe that the playpen should be empty of anything other than the sheet and the baby - no bolsters, pillows or blankets - to reduce the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).

There are two types of diapers - disposable and reusable, made of cloth. If the spouses decide to buy reusable cloth diapers, they can be washed independently. Perhaps the spouses will decide to buy both types of diapers: they have their own advantages in different situations.

In addition to clothing, your baby will need a few other things. A comb and brush, nail scissors, a nasal siphon, an ear or rectal thermometer, baby shampoo, diaper ointment, baby oil, baby powder, diapers, cotton swabs, and petroleum jelly should be on hand when needed.

DIAPER BAG AND ESSENTIALS. Parents will quickly realize that a diaper bag is essential in some situations. When the family leaves the house, it can hold diapers, nappies, extra clothes, a bottle or baby food, pacifiers, toys, a blanket, and other essentials.

You can save money by not buying an expensive bag. We have told many young fathers and mothers that a regular backpack is the best model of such a bag! Do they look better? A backpack can be carried on the back, not in the hand. This gives more freedom and allows you to pay more attention to the child.

CAR SEAT. The most important piece of equipment to buy is a car seat. We recommend purchasing a new car seat so that parents can be sure that their baby is well protected during their first trip home from the hospital. The baby must be in the seat whenever he or she is in the car - it is the law. The safest place is in the middle of the back seat of the car.

Does a child really need a car seat? Yes! It is the best protection for a child in case of an accident. The child should be placed there during every trip!

When choosing a seat for a child, you should be sure that it meets safety standards. After purchasing the seat, but before you need to pick up the child from the maternity hospital, it is necessary to have someone knowledgeable, such as a police officer, check the correctness of the seat installation. He can also give instructions on installation.

Seats can be designed for children of different weights, and a combined type is also possible, when the seat is removed from the car and converted into a stroller.

If a couple lives in the city and does not have a car, do they need to buy a car seat? The answer is, of course, yes. Even if the child is riding in a taxi, he or she should be in the seat. A suitable choice for parents in this situation is a portable "travel system." In fact, it is three items in one - a car seat, a baby carrier, and a stroller. It can be used until the child outgrows it. And it is convenient when one thing can perform several functions.

Preparing your home for the arrival of a baby

In this section, we provide some recommendations on how to make the home safe for the new baby. This will also make the home safer for the couple.

Children should live in a smoke-free environment. Therefore, after the birth of the child, smoking in the house will not be allowed. If a man needs to do it, he should do it outside the house. Also, smoking in the car should not be allowed. Any time a child (or his mother, for that matter) inhales smoke, it is very harmful to health. Bronchitis, asthma and other respiratory diseases are most common in children whose at least one parent smokes.

As we discussed earlier in this chapter, you should check the paint on the walls of your home and make sure that all painted surfaces are in good condition. If a man is repainting something, you should find out if the paint contains lead. You can do this yourself using tests available at hardware stores.

If there is water damage in the house, such as a leaky roof, foundation or pipes, it is advisable for a man to take care of THIS before the baby arrives. If such leaks are ignored, mold will grow, which can cause bleeding from the lungs of a newborn. This disease is believed to be caused by toxic mold that grows on wet wood and paper. When the mold dries, its spores become airborne. If inhaled by a newborn, the mold will grow in the lungs; this mainly affects children under half-naked. Therefore, it is necessary to dry wet areas as soon as possible. Throw away any wet items that are not dry within 24 hours, replace discolored wood paneling. WASH walls and woodwork with a mixture of 1 part hydrogen peroxide to 4 parts water, and watch for new leaks.

If there is a well near the house and the water has not been tested, it should be tested for nitrates before the baby is born. If the baby drinks baby formula (it is safe if breastfeeding, even if the mother drinks the water) and it is made with water containing nitrates, a life-threatening blood disorder called meshemogdobinimea can develop. Boiling water does not help - it only increases the nitrate content, so it can only cause harm. Perhaps the man can dig another well or solve the problem by buying bottled water that meets at least minimal safety standards for preparing baby formula.