Partnering is not an option for everyone
Last reviewed: 20.10.2021
All iLive content is medically reviewed or fact checked to ensure as much factual accuracy as possible.
We have strict sourcing guidelines and only link to reputable media sites, academic research institutions and, whenever possible, medically peer reviewed studies. Note that the numbers in parentheses ([1], [2], etc.) are clickable links to these studies.
If you feel that any of our content is inaccurate, out-of-date, or otherwise questionable, please select it and press Ctrl + Enter.
If a pregnant woman wants her child's future father to be present during childbirth, then this issue is decided not on the eve of the delivery period: in order for partner births not to cast a man into a state of shock, one husband's consent is not enough, especially when it is received "voluntarily and compulsorily ". A couple waiting for replenishment should prepare for this in advance.
So, what should be considered, what needs to be prepared and what you need to know about partner births?
Partner birth: for and against
Despite the fact that the national statistics of partner births, especially among young urban couples, demonstrates positive dynamics, among obstetricians and gynecologists, discussions about the feasibility of the presence of a future father when a child is born do not stop. And their opinion about partner births is expressed not only by physicians: psychologists and sociologists study participation in the birth of close mothers.
Obstetrical practice confirms the positive role of the husband in partner births:
- in emotional and psychological support and a decrease in the level of anxiety of a woman;
- in the possibility of alleviating the soreness of contractions with the help of a massage of the lumbar region;
- in the provision of comfort (the partner will water, help to take a more comfortable position, etc.) and adequate communication with the medical staff of the maternity hospital (the husband can call the nurse on time, report changes in the state of the wife, etc.);
- in the mother's care for the baby in the first day after his birth.
And the opinion of psychologists is divided, while some consider the advantage of partner births the factor of the transition of a man to a higher level in marital relations - to the recognition of paternity and the formation of new life values. Perhaps participation in childbirth helps some future fathers to realize their new status in the society and become more self-confident, increase responsibility for the child and, in general, for the family.
However, the disadvantages of partner births are also noted. An agitated, emotionally overexcited husband who overestimated the threshold of his stress-resistance, most likely, will not help his wife giving birth much less, and, conversely, can cause her negative emotions and irritation. At the same time, as the studies of British midwives have shown, the fear of a man giving birth to women immediately feels and, moreover, succumbs to his influence. As a result, adrenaline rises in the blood of the woman giving birth, which leads to the termination of labor. In some circumstances, this may require delivery by caesarean section.
Quite often, the presence of a husband next to his wife, who during the fights can not control her behavior and looks unattractive, reduces the male libido, which subsequently worsens the sexual relations of the spouses.
In addition, it happens that, due to shyness, women are straining their muscles when it needs to be relaxed (and vice versa), which can delay delivery and lead to their complications and the need for stimulant medications and other methods of obstetrics.
Preparation for partner births
Couples who decide to give birth together, in the course of preparation for the appearance of a child, receive partner births in a women's consultation or at a maternity home where future parents receive all the necessary information, including a description of their physiological delivery; Features of the stages of this process and the rules of the partner's behavior on each of them; principles of breathing during fights, receptions of distracting massage, etc.
Pass partner childbirth in the hospital, where they must know in advance that they will be partner to provide a separate ward. By the way, partner births with a friend, sister or mother of a pregnant woman are allowed (in most maternity hospitals at birth there can be only one close person).
Required documents for partner birth: an exchange card and a passport of a pregnant woman, a partner's passport.
In a pregnant woman, the tests for partner births are the same as for the usual ones. But the tests for the husband with partner birth include the delivery of blood from the vein to RW, hepatitis and HIV, a nasopharyngeal smear for staphylococcal infection; also doctors require a certificate of fluorography (the results of chest X-rays are considered an indicator of the presence / absence of pulmonary tuberculosis). However, in each medical institution there is a list of tests that are supposed to be handed over to the partner of the mother in childbirth.
A set of partner births - a list of necessary personal care products and things for the mother and baby - women receive along with the exchange card. Also, you need a change of shoes (washable) and clothes, a suit for partner births. It is best to buy disposable medical clothes and shoe covers in the pharmacy.
How are partner births?
Do not aggravated pathologies of pregnancy physiological partner births are in accordance with the protocol of conducting normal births.
With the onset of labor - at the stage of labor, during which the cervix and the hinge of the pelvic bones gradually expand, causing pain - the nearby person calms and encourages the expectant mother, trying verbally or with the help of a distracting massage of the lumbar muscles to facilitate the transfer of pain.
Since the first stage of childbirth lasts long enough and can bring a male partner to exhaustion, in most cases, this role of the husband in partner births is limited, and for the time being tried (as the midwives say, the stages of expulsion of the fetus), he leaves the maternity ward. If the couple decided to be together before the birth is complete, then the man is only at the bedside of the mother in labor. But midwives can ask him to leave the room if it becomes necessary to manually release the passageway for the baby's head, or a perineotomy of the perineum is required.
After the birth of the child, the father can cut the umbilical cord under the supervision of an obstetrician and be next to the mother and baby, who is put on her stomach and put to the chest. The birth of a child's place (placenta) and the entire final stage of childbirth takes place in the absence of a partner.
If partner deliveries take place at cesarean section, the father of the child is admitted to the operating room only after the newborn is removed from the uterine cavity. And during the completion of the baby's operation (if he is full-term and there are no complications), they can lay on their breasts to their father.
Reviews of men about partner birth
If the birth of a child is one of the most important moments in a woman's life (albeit the most painful), then, as many testimonies of partners about childbearing attest, their presence at birth and the help they give to their beloved woman make them real fathers from the very first moments - thanks to more close connection with the child.
But when deciding to go for partner births, one should objectively assess the type of relationship between a man and a woman and the degree of their emotional and emotional intimacy. And in its absence, this option is unlikely to suit you.