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10 ways to improve your intimate life

, medical expert
Last reviewed: 04.07.2025
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If there is absolutely no room for growth in intimacy and sex has become not a bright event, but a boring duty, diversify it with the help of these simple tips. So, what are the 10 best ways to diversify sex?

10 Best Ways to Spice Up Sex

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Tip #1: Schedule Sex Dates

If a couple has been dating or living together for many years or months, they should plan dates that definitely end in sex. The background before sex means a lot. If it is not just a triangle: dinner-undress-into bed, sex will become much more romantic and desirable. Go for a walk in the park, ride a carousel, a Ferris wheel or motorcycles, have dinner at a restaurant, and then have sex. It will bring you much more romantic feelings than in a normal setting. If what you do before sex brings pleasure to both, then the sex itself will cause much more emotions.

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Tip #2: Spend the night away from home from time to time

Strange advice, but it works 100%. At least once every two weeks, set aside some money to have sex not in the usual setting of your own bedroom, but in a hotel or at a friend's dacha. There are so many romantic options that will add variety to your intimate life. According to psychologists, the best experience in sex is the one that couples get now, not yesterday or tomorrow. In an unfamiliar environment, the brain switches off and stops thinking about what you would think about at home - like "fix the faucet" or "calm the children."

For those who have been together for a long time, it is good to change the environment from time to time. The best place to do this is in a place that does not contain memories of your time together. New sensations in everyday life are new sensations in sex. They can be the most vivid in your life…

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Tip #3: Change your bedroom design

Sexologists believe that the same stimulant can become boring over a long period of time. Your usual bedroom interior can become boring for both of you, even if you have provided large mirrored ceilings and a romantic half-light. Change the design of your bedroom radically. For example, replace pastel colors with bright red or yellow. This simple move can change a lot in your sexual sensations.

If you are not planning a complete overhaul, change the little things that are pleasant to your heart and body. Put on new silk linen, light candles and buy a beautiful fan. These seemingly small changes can completely transform the interior and make the sensations more intense.

And one more piece of advice regarding the bedroom – remove from it everything that is not related to sex and relaxation: children's toys, books, unnecessary clothes.

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Tip #4: Admit to yourself your sexual fantasies

Many people live to a ripe old age and don’t admit to themselves (let alone their partner) what they really want in sex. Of course, it will get boring if you practice the same missionary position in the same bedroom day after day. So gather your courage and answer each other the questions: “What would you like to change in our sex?”

You may get a completely unexpected answer, not to mention that you may admit unexpected things to yourself. Just the thought that your sexual fantasies are about to come true will already warm you up and make sex more intense.

And discussing these fantasies with your partner will add new flavor to your intimacy.

Tip #5: Ask What Your Partner Really Wants From Sex

Perhaps you have never asked your significant other this simple but courageous question. And therefore you do not know what your partner's real sexual desires are. Or maybe they completely coincide with your sexual desires, which you have not admitted to yourself, and even less to your partner?

Did you know that one of the most common pairs when turning to a sexologist is that one party in sex is much more active or passive than the other. Men and women complain to each other that one of them is much more interested in sex than the other. Hence the discrepancy in intimate desires. And when does a person lose interest in the process? When everything does not go the way he wants. Having a frank conversation, a lot can be fixed.

Tip #6: Constantly learn something new about sex

If you don't do this, monotony in intimacy will become boring very quickly, even with great love. Read literature, buy CDs with new sex techniques, change your underwear. Try role-playing games - in a word, constantly experiment. This will add brightness and novelty to your sexual relations.

Many couples are afraid of the slightest changes in their sex life. But just try it – and a completely new planet of sensations may open up to you.

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Tip #7: Admit to yourself your sexual problems

You can't give up on them and ignore the difficulties in sex. If you do this constantly, the quality of sex will be greatly reduced. If these are medical problems (for example, diseases of the reproductive system), you need to take a short break and deal with them. Many do not do this, fearing that their partner will not understand them. This is fundamentally wrong. If the problem worsens, the quality of sex will decrease and a situation may arise where lovemaking will become unpleasant for both.

Psychological problems can be an obstacle to vivid sex. Then they also need to be solved together. A frank conversation and a visit to a sexologist will help to cope with any problems on the love front.

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Tip #8: Take your time

When a couple slowly explores each other and takes their time using the most tried and tested but shortest method, it brings pleasure to both. Many couples make the same mistake: they find out what their partner likes and constantly use the same method (or a couple of methods). This is the shortest and surest path to pleasure. But such monotony soon becomes boring. In addition, studies show that premature ejaculation in men disappears without any treatment as soon as a couple begins to slowly experiment.

With this approach, a woman also loses self-doubt, stiffness, and the desire to finish everything as quickly as possible. Playfulness, unhurriedness, and creativity are the three pillars on which sex is based.

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Tip #9: Don't compare yourself to porn stars

Comparing yourself to someone whose level will always remain insurmountable for you is harmful. It is pointless to try to be like movie stars or models. The best way to diversify relationships is to be yourself.

The idea that your sex life “should be” this or that is a harmful delusion that makes you waste time and energy. How much time to spend on sex, how it should be and what it shouldn’t be – only you decide, not the reality show heroes you try to be like. Don’t worry about who you could be like in appearance or behavior – or your partner. Think not about what you should, but about what you really want.

Tip #10: Don't Stop

Don't be afraid that some attempts to improve your sex life will lead you to the wrong place. The most interesting road is the unknown one. Follow it, it will bring a lot of interesting things to both you and your other half.

Don't stop trying to finally find the golden mean in sex and get stuck there. It's a thankless path. It's important to constantly learn, work - and then your lovemaking, as well as constant experiments with your partner (partner) will never get boring.

You can read these 10 tips on how to improve your sex life and follow them. Or you can come up with your own, even more successful and bright. The main thing is not to stand still, and your success will find you.

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