Violations of sexual fantasies

, medical expert
Last reviewed: 14.08.2021

All iLive content is medically reviewed or fact checked to ensure as much factual accuracy as possible.

We have strict sourcing guidelines and only link to reputable media sites, academic research institutions and, whenever possible, medically peer reviewed studies. Note that the numbers in parentheses ([1], [2], etc.) are clickable links to these studies.

If you feel that any of our content is inaccurate, out-of-date, or otherwise questionable, please select it and press Ctrl + Enter.

Fantasies are a normal and important part of sexuality. They can appear in the form of fleeting images or refined, time-stretched scenes that contain a variety of sexual behaviors in different localities. They can participate in their own sexual partners, potential partners or fantastic figures. The content of these fantasies usually changes with time.

Some people are concerned that the content of their sexual fantasies is reprehensible or abnormal. Despite this, the presence of such fantasies does not at all mean that they can be embodied in reality.

Sexual fantasy is a normal and healthy phenomenon, although the predominance of fantasies in adult people related to sexual relations with children or with violence against others may cause concern.

  • Psychiatric and psychological reasons

Serious affective disorders, including depression and bipolar (manic-depressive) disorders, a very common psychological cause of functional sexual disorders. For example, a person with depression, as a rule, loses interest in sex. Schizophrenia is also often combined with sexual dysfunction. Personality disorders often lead to a violation of sexual functions. The same applies to stress-related adaptation disorders.

Personal views of a person on what is considered "right" in sex and how to "act" can have a strong influence on sexual reactions. In many people, ignorance or false ideas about one's own body can cause sexual dissatisfaction. For example, many women do not know that coitus without sufficient stimulation of the clitoris can not cause them to orgasm. By itself, penetration (the introduction of the penis) is not sufficient for such stimulation, in connection with which many capable of orgasm women stimulate themselves or have a partner who knows how to do it. Men who do not know that women need stimulation of the clitoris begin to doubt their masculine abilities, since the introduction of the penis alone can not cause orgasm in the woman with whom they have sexual intercourse. Such doubt can cause fear and lead to impotence.

Common psychological causes of sexual problems include:

  • Depression.
  • Unconscious feelings of guilt or fear associated with a sexual act.
  • Fear of failure, doubt in their own sexual abilities or fear that the partner's sexual expectations will not be met.
  • Deceleration due to socio-cultural factors (all prohibitions and imperatives in the form of "you must" or "you should not", which are related to our family, cultural or religious upbringing.
  • Sexual trauma (incest, rape or painful experiences of sexual failures, etc.).
  • The role of the "observer" (concentrating on what is happening, instead of a complete experience of the sexual act).
  • Stress in relations with a partner (when one of the partners constantly criticizes the other or humiliates him, when one or both partners are angry, etc.).
  • Mental conflicts (usually the unconscious state of tension arising when the inner desires, needs and thoughts are in conflict, such as a man who experiences unprocessed sexual feelings towards his mother, and in this connection, after the birth of the child, loses interest to his wife, as she became for him the embodiment of the mother image).

Most often, problems arise because the sexual needs of the other remain undivided. Often the partner does not know or almost does not know about the sexual fantasies, preferences, inclinations, fears and sensibilities of the other. Often a woman expects that the partner knows how to induce her orgasm, not sharing with him what exactly gives her pleasure. And the man does not dare to talk about what contributes to his erection. Often, partners do not know about the existence of problems with each other.

Finally, life crises, stress, fatigue and habitual mood swings can upset the cycle of sexual reactions. For example, mothers of infants due to fatigue may experience a decrease in sexual desire. After a divorce, a man may have an increase or decrease in sexual activity due to a change in lifestyle. In these cases, the fluctuations in sexual activity are usually smoothed as the situation stabilizes, the energy returns to the previous level and the mood improves. If this does not occur, appropriate treatment should be provided to prevent sexual dysfunction.

You are reporting a typo in the following text:
Simply click the "Send typo report" button to complete the report. You can also include a comment.