The role of kissing in sexual interaction

Primitive people licked each other to replenish the lack of salt in their bodies. But our immediate predecessors on the evolutionary ladder - monkeys - do not lick each other for this purpose at all, but collect salt crystals with their hands (in the same way, incidentally, they look for fleas).

On the other hand, it is in humans that the importance of the oral zone increases due to the peculiarities of nutrition and the emergence of speech. Its mucous membranes are more sensitive than the skin surface, and the nerve endings in them are much less protected. Here the oral zone is similar to the anal and vaginal - the same sexual symbolism arises in relation to all three zones: these are closed "holes", voluntary penetration into which is an act of intimacy, "giving oneself up", and forcible penetration leads to moral and social stigmatization. It is not without reason that in the history of culture the vagina is often likened to the mouth, which must "devour" a person; the medieval term "vagina dentata" is known - a toothed womb.

The same importance of the oral zone explains the custom of touching a person or a sacred object with the lips as a sign of respect, and, conversely, the forced kissing of something that is not accepted to be kissed in a given society - which is practically equivalent to rape (remember the famous demand of Till Eulenspiegel to kiss him "on those lips with which he does not speak Flemish" - this is the extreme degree of insult).

Let's try to figure out whether the role of a kiss in sexual interaction is also culturally symbolic or is it determined by some physiological reasons. The latter is supported by a whole library of all sorts of manuals created at different times and among different peoples.

The tenth chapter of the Kama Sutra is called "On the differences in kisses" and prescribes kissing "the forehead, the locks of hair, the cheeks, the chest, the nipples, the lips, the inside of the mouth... the junction of the thighs, the armpits, the lower abdomen" - all this is done "when the woman is not yet trusting and not overwhelmed by desire... in order to arouse desire."

The next two centuries completely deprive the kiss of its aura of holiness, it becomes exclusively a way to stimulate sexual arousal. "A kiss excites lust, the desire to merge two into one." The art of kissing in the Rococo era is not inferior in sophistication to the "Kama Sutra." Extensive literature treats of the "Florentine kiss" ("they take a person by both ears and kiss"); "maiden" (consisting of kissing breasts and areolas of nipples); wet (meaning that the kisser is "overwhelmed by desires"); and, finally, the famous "French", in which tongues touch - "women inclined to love prefer this kind of kiss."

The Chinese "straightened" the connection between kissing and sexual intercourse even more. They considered kisses that did not lead to further sexual activity up to orgasm to be an insult to the principles of Yin and Yang. The first Europeans who began to settle in Shanghai perplexed the locals by greeting each other with a kiss. If a husband kissed his wife, then, according to the Chinese, he should then extract a "jasper stalk" and place it in a "jade pavilion." The Chinese considered kisses on the cheeks, which, for example, two Frenchmen would give each other when they met, to be completely pointless sexual preparations.

The "biological" nature of kissing can be proven by the customs of the mountain Arapesh (New Guinea), described by the outstanding ethnographer Margaret Mead. The Arapesh do not kiss, but from childhood they get used to playing with their lips. The child pulls back the upper lip with the thumb, index and middle fingers and claps it; puffs out the cheeks and squeezes them with the fingers; pushes out the lower lip with the tongue; licks his hands and knees. Older children play with the lips of younger ones; there are dozens of well-established ways of playing with the mouth. These games serve as an expression of love, affection and, according to Mead, lay the foundation for a satisfied sexual life in the future. Children's lips get so used to constant stimulation that when boys undergo the initiation rite (after which playing with the mouth is considered inappropriate), they replace the childhood habit with smoking or chewing betel.

Why is it that kissing is sweeter than myrrh and wine, and not, for example, snapping fingers or scratching an ear? Recently, many results of measuring physical parameters during a kiss have been published: the pulse quickens, the endocrine glands work more intensively, the pupils dilate, etc. Indeed, according to French researchers, there are many nerve endings in the lip area (especially the upper one), impulses from which are sent directly to the part of the brain "in charge" of sexual reactions. At the same time, it should be recognized that increased pulse, increased hormone production and other physiological manifestations are a common reaction to, for example, a date. However, no one would think of considering the apartment of a lover as "inherently erotic". The exciting role of a kiss is largely determined by historically established tradition, upbringing, and learning. Since childhood, a kiss is semanticized as a substitute for coital activity (an example of this is the commandment "do not give kisses without love"). The assertion of many that a kiss of certain areas (for example, nipples) "responds to the genitals" is more evidence of the development and consolidation of a certain signaling mechanism than of a real "biological" connection. If we had been accustomed from childhood to think that the most intimate area of our body - the armpit and scratching it with the index finger is a sexual act - this act would resonate in the genitals in exactly the same way as a kiss.

Finally, about safety. The era of AIDS has made adjustments to the kissing technique. An HIV-infected person also has the virus in their saliva, but in small quantities. To become infected, you need to swallow five liters of infected saliva, and when kissing, only about 10 mg of liquid is transferred from mouth to mouth. However, if there is a bleeding wound in the mouth of each of the kissers, transmission of the virus becomes quite likely. Recently, along with condoms and latex pants that cover the entire peritoneal area and do not allow direct contact, special kissing films have been released. They are made in the form of an elastic mask that covers the mouth. These masks have found an unexpected use in the community of so-called "leather people" - adherents of the now fashionable games of sadomasochism. The role of the traditional S/M gag is now performed by a protective bandage (called a limen), which simultaneously prevents the "victim" from screaming, allows her to be kissed, and protects her from infection. The ends of the limen are passed through earrings, which allows the earlobe to be stimulated simultaneously with the kiss...

And let us remember that the practical advice is still relevant: all participants in a "solid kissing" should drink or eat something with a strong smell (for example, garlic), if such a thing is planned. Otherwise, someone will sing a different song: "Come to me, I like you, kiss me, you won't get poisoned", and someone will think in response: "Who knows, who knows..."