How to increase self-esteem after treason
Last reviewed: 29.05.2019
All iLive content is medically reviewed or fact checked to ensure as much factual accuracy as possible.
We have strict sourcing guidelines and only link to reputable media sites, academic research institutions and, whenever possible, medically peer reviewed studies. Note that the numbers in parentheses ([1], [2], etc.) are clickable links to these studies.
If you feel that any of our content is inaccurate, out-of-date, or otherwise questionable, please select it and press Ctrl + Enter.
The higher the self-esteem, the easier it is for us to communicate with others. We are confident in our abilities and open to new opportunities.
But self-esteem is a volatile variable. It is worth experiencing at least one strong shock, and it is already rapidly flying down. For a woman such a shock often becomes a betrayal of a man. How to increase self-esteem after betrayal?
Yesterday she was confident of herself, felt loved, and already today she is crushed by one single argument: she was preferred to another.
Of course, after such a stressful situation it is not easy to do. All the time it seems that the rival is better, prettier and younger. And their own dignity becomes so small that it is incredibly difficult to find.
And it's useless just to pretend that you are confident in yourself, to hide your wounded pride. Underestimated self-esteem is easily recognized by gestures, cues and even by the eyes.
Self-confidence must come from within. Believe that you are no worse than others, and the rest will believe it!
10 tips on how to increase self-esteem after treason
There are several
Simple tips for how to increase self-esteem after betrayal. Quickly return to the "old self" is unlikely to work out, but conscious steps towards this goal will necessarily benefit you.
Tip 1. Stop comparing yourself to your opponent
In some ways you lose to it, in some way you win, but it will always be so, because there are no identical people in the world. Comparing oneself with others is a knowingly useless occupation.
Tip 2. Better analyze yourself
Think about your strengths and weaknesses. Of course, first you will only find faults - this is normal. To remember your dignity, write down in your notebook all your achievements and the qualities of character that helped you achieve these successes.
Tip 3. Stop blaming yourself
If the betrayal happened in part because of your fault - this is not a reason to torment yourself for the rest of your life. Everybody makes mistakes. Forgive yourself for them, draw the right conclusions and do not repeat such mistakes in the future.
Tip 4. Do not become self-absorbed, surround yourself with positive and optimistic people
Communicate more often with those who cheer you up and improve your mood. So you will feel much more confident.
Tip 5. Make a list of your strengths
Ask each of your friends to write a letter about what they value and love you. Regularly re-read these eulogies and list. So you will gradually oust from your mind the thought that you do not have merit.
Advice 6. Smile to strangers and do not reject compliments
Take for the rule - every day to give one smile to a stranger.
I recommend starting with small children - they almost always smile back. This is a real charge of positive!
Then you can smile at men - it's not only positive, but also a slight surge of adrenaline. Do not be embarrassed when you are told compliments: if they say, then you deserve them! And easy flirting is generally the best panacea for low self-esteem!
Tip 7. Love your appearance
In our appearance, there is always some kind of a natural flaw with which you just have to accept. But if your shortcomings can be corrected - act! Make that hairstyle that you like, pick up a suitable make-up, update your wardrobe, sign up for fitness.
Advice 8. Develop
Self-esteem is a complex concept. To feel self-confidence, we need to constantly work on ourselves.
Moreover, you can not postpone your development. Unrealized plans will only exacerbate your underestimated self-esteem. As soon as there was an idea to learn a foreign language or go on cooking courses - immediately act!
Constantly occupy yourself with useful activities, and then your self-esteem will begin to flourish. Feel yourself a popular and interesting person!
Advice 9. Regularly say various affirmations
Affirmations are motivating statements. The simplest - "I deserve happiness!", "I will succeed!", "I'm beautiful and smart!" etc. First, you will be hesitant to pronounce these phrases. But be persistent, time after time convince yourself. Soon you yourself will sincerely believe in it!
Tip 10. Do what you love
It's hard to enjoy life and love yourself when doing something boring. Fill your life with interesting events and meetings.
Go to the cinema and theaters, read books and discuss them with friends, travel, taste new dishes. In short, in your life there should be no place for self-destructive self-interest.
Remember how Baron Munchausen pulled himself out of the swamp for a pigtail?
So you can help yourself - to increase your self-esteem and again feel confident, despite the circumstances.
The main thing is to tune in to success and remember that happiness is in your hands!
[