Elderly person and family

Not a single species of living beings of the highest development and complex organization has a connection between "progenitors" and "grandchildren", much less "great-grandchildren". Perhaps we are still only learning love and relationships in such a complex structure as an elderly person and a family, which often unites up to four generations with completely different life experiences.

Life expectancy has increased by more than 40 years. The number of elderly people in families is growing faster than the number of children, and the attitude towards them cannot be based on the previous principles. After all, with general illiteracy, a person who lived to gray hair used to be a walking encyclopedia of life, often the only bearer of everyday and professional science, wisdom. Hence the veneration of old age inherent in most peoples, regardless of the individual.

The world around old people should be very attentive and friendly. It is important how the relationships of old people with adult children, grandchildren, mothers-in-law with sons-in-law, mothers-in-law with daughters-in-law are formed in the family.

We often repeat that the meaning of human existence is in the benefit we bring to people. But what benefit is there in someone who is no longer able to take care of himself? He only takes, without giving anything to anyone. The main “usefulness” of completely helpless old people is that they, like children, do not allow the warmth of gratitude to fade in their souls, support the ability to self-sacrifice, and cultivate indulgence and tolerance. True, with old people this comes at the cost of greater effort than with children. After all, our future lies in the little ones, that is, what will remain. And in old people - what has already passed: our own childhood, youth. We are more willing to sacrifice today's interests for the sake of future achievements than to pay for joys long experienced. This is one reason why it is more difficult with old people. In addition, becoming feeble, like children, old people retain their claims to a decisive opinion and authority in the affairs of the common family. They strive to subjugate the will of all household members, being completely dependent on them. This is an initially conflict situation. And only very benevolent and reasonable people come out of it with dignity.

Today's elderly grandparents, who are provided with pensions, need the awareness most of all: we are dear, we are still needed by someone on earth. All senile ailments are aggravated if there is no such feeling of one's own necessity, usefulness. The last chance to melt the ice of a cooling heart is to bask in the rays of the cheerful and loving eyes of grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

A considerable number of grandparents live and act within the framework of traditional rules. Over the years, caring for children takes up more and more of their time and energy. They know no other way than to pick up their grandchildren from school, kindergarten, or nursery, to the skating rink or the zoo. And there is no other entertainment except sitting in front of the TV, and in TV programs, first of all, they look for programs for children. People say: grandchildren are loved more than their own children. They love more meaningfully, more selflessly and with concentration. Love, as we know, requires leisure. When a person has the time and desire to look closely at a small Creature, many things are revealed that in the hustle and bustle of everyday life can be missed, not noticed. And it is precisely on the interest of an adult that the reciprocal interest and trust of a child are built. This heartfelt trust of children is especially dear when their own adult child has closed his soul to his mother and father, reducing all communication with them to a set of standard words and signs of respect. In the relationship between grandchildren who have entered the prime of life and an old person who is losing his last strength, there may be alienation, discord, and mutual irritation. Therefore, it is necessary to educate children from an early age in a respectful attitude towards older family members. And this depends on how the adults themselves treat the elderly. After all, children always follow the example of adults.

An old person is very vulnerable. And therefore, you should never speak to him in a rude, irritable tone. He should feel respectful attitude towards himself. It is increasingly rare for representatives of three, let alone four generations, to live under one roof.

Sociological analysis does not always confirm the correctness of the position that the ideal for old people is to live with their adult children and grandchildren and that family disunity is equivalent to the isolation of old people.

At present, the system of "elderly person and family" has developed in such a way that the normal situation is the separate residence of elderly parents, their children and grandchildren. In many cases, this preserves or restores good relations that have changed during cohabitation.

Difficulties in living together are usually also caused by housing problems. Now, it would be ideal for parents and their adult children, who have a family, to live economically independently in the same house, but in different apartments or in close proximity to the elderly. This would facilitate contact and provide an opportunity to help them if necessary. Separated families are often restored in this case if the father or mother left alone becomes incapable of self-care, becomes “confined” to the apartment or is forced to observe constant bed rest.

Changing the place of residence of an elderly or old person causes many of them to experience difficult emotional and stressful situations. It can be caused not only by the person's health, but also by the need for major repairs to the house or moving to another house, usually on the outskirts of the city, with no hope of returning to the previous place. In these cases, elderly people often lose already established social connections, are forced to change their already familiar way of life to some extent, adapt to new living conditions, which, as a rule, is difficult to do.

The most severe psychological trauma for the elderly, besides the loss of a loved one, is a conflict with children. The high culture of young people, the awareness of the high vulnerability of loved ones who have reached old age and old age, should always be present in the relationships between family members.