Prejudicial doubts are the first symptom of a failed marriage

Do you need this wedding? Do we love each other? What kind of life awaits us? If you ever had such thoughts in your head, then it's worth thinking about and deciding whether you need these relationships in general.

It's better to repeat the script of the popular movie "The Runaway Bride", than to try to escape from your life and the chosen life partner all your life.

Scientists for the first time conducted studies to check whether doubts before the wedding, the harbingers of an unhappy marriage and subsequently the divorce.

Psychologists from the University of California argue that when a bride or groom has doubts, then often it signals an unhappy marriage and the collapse of relationships. Uncertainty and anxious thoughts that can visit on the eve of the wedding - a true prediction of family life. Often these doubts are confirmed later, but the way out of the situation is either a divorce or a life in marriage, which only exhausts the nerves and makes the spouses enemies.

"People think that light uncertainty is always present before the wedding, but it's just fiction, caused by excitement before the solemn event," says Justin Lovner, a psychologist and lead author of the study. "Yes, it's true, many people feel uncertain about their choice, but it's not so simple as it seems and there's not much good here."

Women who have doubts about the correctness of their actions before the wedding, risk ending family relations with a divorce 2.5 times more often than those who had no such doubts.

It also affects the quality of life in marriage: among couples, where one of the spouses experienced uncertainty, significantly more, those who are dissatisfied with the relationship.

"We choose our life partner ourselves, we have to live with this man for many years, no one knows him better than we do. Listen to yourself, if something disturbs you, you should not drive these thoughts away, like annoying flies, "the researchers say.

Specialists observed 464 newlyweds (232 couples) for four years, from the first month of family life. The average age of men was 27 years, and the average age of women was 25 years.

The questionnaire showed that 47% of husbands and 38% of wives experienced doubts before the wedding. Despite the fact that the number of doubting men in this issue outweighs women's uncertainty, nevertheless, the ladies' vacillations and meditations were more extensive, even to break off relations with the narrowed for good.

Among women who did not hide their pessimistic moods, 19% forgot about their anxieties after four years of family life compared to 8% of those who did not report their doubts.

Among men, 14% of those who admitted to premarital fluctuations divorced four years after the wedding, compared with those who did not tell about the uncertainty in the second half.

Doubt was the decisive factor, regardless of whether the spouses were satisfied with family life and whether they lived well before marriage.

36% of couples had no doubts about their choice and only 6% of the relationship broke up. Marriages, where disturbing thoughts visited future husbands, also did not always turn out to be happy - 10% of such unions also collapsed. If the bride acted as a doubting party, then such relations disintegrated in 18% of cases. When both partners were uncertain, the couples were divorced in 20% of cases.

"When you feel bad, and you have something hurts, you go to the doctor, and do not bury your head in the sand like an ostrich. You also need to deal with your worries and doubts - to face the truth. Do not expect that children and time will change everything and life will be fine again, "say the researchers.

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