Mental cheating is cheating too

As is known, the concept of "adultery" implies sex on the side. However, the physical proximity of the traitors is always preceded by emotional infidelity. And this mental readiness for extramarital affairs is no less destructive to the relationship than the accomplished fact of adultery.

Emotional betrayal, above all, is characteristic of the female psyche. Her greatest danger is that this feeling arises in a completely innocent way and imperceptibly for the woman herself grows (very often!) Into a need that dominates all thoughts and desires. There is a strong psychological connection with another, which makes a woman almost dependent. And now, being in a relationship with her husband or partner, she starts emotionally investing in a new "friend", ready to rush to him at any moment to support or console.

How many firewood can be broken, how many mistakes can be made - and do not count ...

Symptoms of emotional infidelity:

• Communication with a "friend" is held in secret from a partner, friends and family;
• In conversations with him, you freely use words that you do not allow yourself in the presence of your partner. The same is true of actions;
• You agree with the opinion of the other, despite the fact that it contradicts the principles of the partner;
• Mentally, you increasingly "spend time" with another, and not with your husband;
• Interest in sexual and emotional intimacy with the spouse is falling, right up to complete fading;
• It seems to you that the other understands you better than a partner;
• You are increasingly scrolling in my head scenarios of sudden "release" from marriage bonds (the sudden death of a husband in a disaster, for example), which will allow you to link your life with a new one;
• There is an insistent desire of physical contact with another - touching, embracing, etc.

According to experts, such symptoms do not make a woman "a treacherous traitor". But if, say, you have found several of the above signs in your mind, consider this an occasion to seriously think about.

Mentality is treason too

But the following characteristics of behavior indicate that in your mind you have already crossed the chaste bar in relations with another person:

• Share your joy, or report any trouble you have, first of all, with him, not with a partner;
• Your communication with another becomes much closer than it was not so long ago. In your conversations, for example, there are sexual themes, and it does not matter that you discuss them "just for fun";
• You exchange pretty intimate photos with each other;
• You deliberately try to create situations that allow you to retire with another, and for this you are even ready to sacrifice the time given to your spouse or children;
• In your relationship to your spouse, there are feelings of disappointment, anger and alienation;
• You can not imagine your future without this person.

How to get rid of emotional dependence on another

First of all, it concerns those women who feel the emotional betrayal of their beloved inside - and they want to stop it. The desire to regain a normal relationship with a partner and get rid of the obsession that has become a feeling for another is the first and most important condition for keeping the family and "recovering" emotionally. Then the specialists give the following recommendations:

• to stop communicating with the person, because of which he was going to change. As the saying goes: "Out of sight, out of mind!" Stop seeing, communicating, meeting, receiving his calls, SMS and letters. Change your phone number, start a new email account, avoid visiting places, update accounts on social networks and get rid of photos and other reminders about it;
• it is necessary to get rid of emotional chains. That is, to speak out so that your secret will no longer be a painful secret. You may need to contact a family counselor or visit a psychotherapist;
• realize that, as before, your relationship with a partner will never again become, so create new rules that will help to live on;
• spend together with the partner more time, try to kindle each other a spark of romance;

There is nothing unnatural in blaming yourself and condemning. But to engage in self-flagellation and sprinkle the head of ashes around the clock is hardly necessary. Unfortunately, even the listed councils - as well as the advice of the best family professionals - are not able to keep the union if a deep crack has been running inside.

If this did happen, do not complicate life - do not beg the partner to stay and do not hold it in all conceivable and unimaginable ways. But be sure to listen to the advice of psychologists before deciding on the next step. Whatever the betrayal, this episode should not be your life sentence.

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