23 reasons not to work for a large company

Working for a big company will not only make you fat, get into debt and love Fridays

Career growth is cancelled

It's worth considering how many layers of authority lie above you to understand that you will need too much strength to overcome the company's internal resistance. Playing will get you through, working - hardly.

Initiative is punishable

To push through the simplest change, which to the average person who has never worked in a corporation seems like nonsense - changing a letter in a menu or adjusting the creative process - you will have to spend colossal efforts. Most likely, when you win your enterprise, you will no longer receive any moral satisfaction.

I'll have to keep quiet

If you are an expert in online advertising or just know who is who in the market, and you are hired by a large corporation, then you will shut up for the time you work there. You cannot say that your product is bad - it is unethical in relation to colleagues, that the competitors' product is bad - it is unethical in relation to competitors, you cannot comment on anything at all - it is better to keep quiet, otherwise you will definitely offend someone. All colleagues are very valuable.

Team spirit

Team spirit, synergy, in a single impulse, all as one, only together we can... You will hear a lot of this. You will learn to hide your incompetence or inexperience behind team responsibility. The most miserable project will be overgrown with a working group with group responsibility, behind which no one can be found guilty, and rewards are received by anyone.

Emotions inside

It is not customary to envy and rejoice in offices. That is, all this will remain inside you, gradually fading away, but you will stop showing it all on your face. Boredom is your new mask.

Be genuinely happy about victories that you have nothing to do with

You will say, "Well done, guys from the transport department! They're doing something!" "WE have a great browser," and you're from the accounting department. You don't know that you have nothing to do with it, but you're happy. Your projects will be launched less and less often, and you need to be happy about something. Even if it's with the stony face of an office worker.

Small salary

You can sell gas by the megaliter, internet by the terabyte, and software by the thousands, but you will have a salary that will provide you with shelter and simple food. You will also have a couple of vacations. In the best case, you will be given 2-3 business trips abroad, which are designed to simply improve your image in the industry, but the company will still benefit from them. For you, this is just a substitute for money.

You will stop understanding the real course of things

Just a month ago you were irritated that a contract takes a month to agree on, and someone prepares a commercial proposal for a week. You will become the same and sincerely stop understanding the real course of things.

The process is more important than the result

Every seasoned office worker knows this special type of communication. You will start generating many, many respondents in the CC field in any correspondence, until the question becomes unsolvable, and the name of the one who created the problem is forgotten.

You will learn not to listen to people who talk to you. Most experienced office workers, as soon as you start talking to them, bury their noses in their smartphone or laptop. You will learn to constantly check your email and believe that you are VERY busy and that a LOT depends on you.

Futile negotiations

"- Let's go to the meeting room! - Who should we take? - Take them all!" Yes, you will gather mini-audiences of extras who will check their email while you talk about nothing until the next batch of experienced office workers kicks you out to do the same.

Frequent lateness

You will be late everywhere - to internal meetings, to the checkpoint where partners or contractors are waiting, to off-site meetings. And you will not have problems with this - forgot, met a colleague in the corridor, traffic jams - you will believe that all these are normal reasons for being late.

Love the toilets and coffee

Coffee in the morning, coffee before midday, coffee before lunch, coffee after lunch, coffee before 5 o'clock tea, coffee before going home. If you smoke, add as many times coffee as you smoke. Toilets save when you just don't want to drink coffee. If there is a smoking room there, then there will be headquarters, a meeting room, a meeting room.

Learn to convince yourself

But you will either not work at all or squeeze out 2-3 hours at most. You will learn to convince yourself that you are doing the necessary work, that you are overloaded and everyone notices it. Although secretly everyone knows that they are surrounded by slackers and therefore behave the same way. The main thing is not to arouse suspicion that you have something else in life and work is only a means to achieve it.

Faith in the best

Working in very "rich" companies you will get the best equipment, the best furniture and the best office, but you will start to think that you are entitled to a car at the company's expense. There is no logic in this, you will simply start to believe it. You will also believe that you are entitled to an apartment, but that will come later.

Salary increase

You will work less and less productively. You will be covered with unnecessary tasks and meetings, like moss, but you will always think that you deserve more and a pay raise is a matter of course for you.

Office worker syndrome

You will start getting colds more and more often. They will quickly explain to you that it is all the air conditioners and you don't need to worry - you don't want to waste your insurance. You will get sick a lot and enjoy it.

Excess weight and unattractive body

Again, there will be ready-made explanations - stress, sedentary lifestyle. But this is all because your body and brain will do work that does not require many calories, you will drag sugar-packed cookies from coffee points, which you will wash down with coffee with sugar 10 times a day. At lunch, you will eat tasteless business lunches, which are prepared from the remains of yesterday's cooking. This food is prepared without love, and therefore it is not healthy.

Love Friday

For a private entrepreneur, Friday is a nightmare, business stops working for 2 days. For an office professional, it is the best day of the week - beer, songs and dancing are possible only on this day.

Get used to shame and love corporate parties

The topic is not important. You will consume alcohol and food for pennies, but you will be able to believe that something special was done for you. You will get used to shame and over the years of working in the Corporation you will know more nasty things about your colleagues than their spouses. And you will start to like it. You can gossip about it.

Losing the Startup Spirit

All these incomprehensible people, making products that are not as important as yours, will cause contempt. And you will always know that in a startup you will succeed the first time, you just don’t need it. You are different, different, successful… already.

You will get stuck in debt

At the beginning of your work, you will want a car like your colleagues. You will buy it on credit, being firmly convinced that "well, I will definitely not take an apartment for 30 years". After several years of systematic appearance of money on a plastic card, your sense of self-preservation will dull and you will get into debts that seemed impossible to you yesterday.

Congratulations, there is no turning back for you now, dear lover of coffee and corporate parties.