'Listening Well Means Moving': Study Shows Link Between Listening and Emotions

Every human culture has the potential for a particular positive emotional experience, which in English is described as the feeling of being “touched,” “moved,” or “warmed.” Other languages also use metaphors of contact to describe this feeling, and researchers have recently proposed the term Kama Muta, a Sanskrit word meaning “touched by love.”

Kama Muta is an emotional episode that produces physiological, cognitive, and behavioral changes—such as feelings of warmth, closeness, a lump in the throat, or goosebumps—that help strengthen connections and enrich experiences.

Scientists who study Kama Muta say it occurs whenever we are involved in a situation or witness a sudden increase in closeness in a relationship. This can happen in a variety of situations, from a budding romantic feeling, to meeting after a long separation, to watching someone sacrifice themselves for another person.

Science is just beginning to understand this profound and sudden strengthening of human connections. Now, a research team that includes a psychologist at the University of Buffalo has expanded our understanding of Kama Muta by examining the experience from the perspective of “listening researchers.”

As it turns out, Kama Muta can be triggered by quality listening, says Kenneth DeMarry, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology in the College of Arts and Sciences at the University at Buffalo. In a series of studies, the researchers found that quality listening—which involves paying attention to the speaker, trying to understand their experience, and having a positive attitude toward them—can increase Kama Muta.

“Good listening is the ability to understand and accept a person for who they are without judging their experiences or perceptions,” says DeMarri.

He and his colleagues argue that when people share personal experiences with someone who listens carefully, it allows them to open up even more and share more of themselves.

"Listening provides an opportunity to create a connection," he notes.

Across three studies, the authors provide evidence that high-quality listening in conversations is associated with greater Kama Muta in both speakers and listeners. The results are published in the journal Emotion.

“In our everyday lives, these findings show how important good listening is for forming and nurturing all kinds of relationships — friendships, romantic relationships, work relationships,” DeMarry says.
“Listening can evoke these positive, meaningful, and important feelings that affect not only how we feel in the moment, but also our motivation to strengthen those relationships.”

Five Aspects of Kama Muta

There are five dimensions that influence Kama Muta, although only in more intense instances of this feeling can a person experience them all:

1. Common sharing is a feeling of closeness or oneness.
2. Positive emotions such as joy, affection, or admiration.
3. Physiological sensations, such as warmth in the chest, goosebumps, a lump in the throat, or tears in the eyes.
4. Commitment to Strengthening Relationships - A willingness to take action to deepen the connection.
5. Labeling the experience as "heart-warmed," "touched," or "moved."

How the research was conducted

Three studies involving groups of 293, 513, and 318 people tested whether Kama Muta improved listening quality in speakers and listeners, using a scale for all five dimensions.

• The first study asked people to remember an action they regretted and imagine a conversation with someone who either listened well or not.
• The second study asked participants to recall real-life conversations in which a positive event was discussed and to rate the quality of the listening.
• The third study involved real conversations between people, where one person shared a meaningful experience while the other listened; both people rated how attentive the listener was to the conversation.

Across all three studies, a similar pattern was observed: high listening quality predicted higher Kama Muta scores on all five dimensions (except in one case where speakers only had three dimensions recorded).

“Good listening allows us to deepen the conversation, which can lead to greater intimacy,” DeMarry says.
“And that’s Kama Muta.”

The article was published in the journal Emotion.